


The Manny

by ReneeLaRoux



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Babies, Children, Cute Kids, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Falling In Love, Gray Asexual Merlin, Gray-Asexuality, Gwaine Is Kind Of A Jerk, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Nannies, Nice Uther, Single Dad!Arthur, Single Parents, nanny!merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-08-06 04:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16381586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReneeLaRoux/pseuds/ReneeLaRoux
Summary: After the tragic death of his sister and brother-in-law, Arthur Pendragon becomes the legal guardian of his two young nieces. As his return to work looms, the new single father hires Merlin Emrys to be the children's nanny. Merlin turns out to be just what Arthur (and his little family) needs.





	1. The Ad

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a little tiny idea that snowballed into something a lot bigger! Feedback would be very welcome!

_Ting!_

Merlin’s phone alerted him that he had new emails. He scooped another spoonful of cereal into his mouth and picked up the device. Ads. Ads. Junk. _Ah_. An email from Mr. Arthur Pendragon, the bloke whose advertisement he’d answered just yesterday. It wasn’t Merlin’s first choice, or second, or third for that matter. He had graduated from university four months ago with aspirations of becoming a primary school teacher like his mother. He had finished top of his class, had loads of classroom experience, and was qualified to teach Spanish as well as the usual subjects. He had a bright future, or so all of his professors had claimed.

     And yet, _and yet_ , here he sat: unemployed and surviving off cereal and his dwindling savings. He had become desperate enough to start branching out of his career of choice, and yesterday was desperate enough to take _any_ job that came his way. He was just one bill away from applying at Starbucks.

    Which is why he had answered Mr. Pendragon’s FindAJob.com advertisement for a full-time nanny for his three-year-old and six-month-old daughters. The man was offering competitive wages (certainly more than he would make as an entry-level primary school teacher, he would admit that), free meals, and access to a car to be used for errands and outings. Duties would include caring for the children, keeping the house tidy, and doing chores such as laundry and shopping.

     Merlin had hesitated applying for the position, he really had. He never once considered nannying as a job he would take. Wasn’t that something only gap-year girls and elderly ladies did? And Mr. Pendragon seemed like a rich prick whose prissy wife would rather spend more time getting manicures and shopping than care for their brats. The language of the ad was stiff and impersonal, more like a business proposal than an ad for a glorified babysitter. But it was a job, and a well-paying one at that. The stack of bills on his counter only kept growing, and his nearly bare cupboards said he just couldn’t afford to be picky anymore.

    He really had not expected Mr. Pendragon to respond to him. No one else had, so why would this bloke be any different? But the man seemed serious, and even asked if Merlin was available Saturday, the following day, for a brief interview at his home. Merlin quickly replied that he was available, and received Mr. Pendragon’s address shortly after. He should have guessed that the man lived in Albion Heights, a gated community that catered to the wealthy of Camelot.

    Merlin rang the Pendragon doorbell exactly at 10 a.m. the next morning. He had dressed as nicely as he could, in black slacks and a deep purple dress-shirt his mother had given him as a graduation gift (“for all the interviews you’ll be going on!”, she’d beamed). He’d tamed his hair the best he could, but he knew it was no use. He needed a haircut badly, but that just wasn’t in the budget at the moment.

    Seconds slipped by, and he became more and more nervous. He shuffled his folder full of his CV, letters of recommendation, and certifications between his hands as he waited. He felt incredibly out of place even just standing on the porch. The flat he rented didn't even have a porch. Glancing around, he couldn’t help but notice that this home was beautiful. It was large, with two stories and a balcony from what Merlin could only assume was the master bedroom upstairs. It was a pristine white, with gray trim around the windows and door, which was the color of coal. The flower beds under the windows were neatly manicured, as was the grass in the lawn. There was a glossy black SUV in the driveway, putting the bike Merlin rode around to shame.

    Finally, the door opened and a rumpled man came into view. Slightly breathless, he was wearing a pair of jeans and a faded tee that had definitely seen better days. His golden hair was still wet from a recent shower, and it was plastered across his forehead. He was handsome, that was for sure. His skin was smooth and tanned, and his muscles looked firm and toned under the slightly damp fabric of his shirt. He didn’t look much older than Merlin himself, which surprised him more than anything.

    “Merlin Emrys?” The man asked, giving Merlin a quick once over, blue eyes sharp and assessing.

    “Yes, Sir,” Merlin affirmed. The man reached a hand out and Merlin grasped it, pretending he didn’t feel a shiver in the process.

    “Arthur Pendragon,” the man said with a tired smile. “Come on in.”

    Merlin stepped inside and followed Arthur through the house. It was...not at all what he was expecting. It was large, sure, but it seemed more like a bachelor pad than a wealthy businessman’s family mansion. There was hardly anything on the clean white walls save for a few errant marker stains, and scattered among the dark woods and rich leathers of the expensive furniture were toys and blankets and sippy cups. There was a distinct smell of disinfectant and burnt oatmeal in the air. An elegant bar cart in the corner had been turned into a makeshift changing station, with nappies and jars of rash-cream having been stashed in the cubbies where bottles of wine or whiskey once probably nestled. Everywhere Merlin looked, there were traces of children where there obviously hadn’t been when the place was originally decorated.

    “The girls are down for a nap, so we should have some peace and quiet,” Mr. Pendragon said as he led Merlin into the spacious kitchen. He made them both a cup of tea and settled in at the breakfast nook. Merlin glanced around for a moment. Dirty dishes in the sink, a pile of tiny shoes by the back door, and a refrigerator covered in alphabet magnets and pictures drawn by a young child’s hand. The dining room table was covered with piles of folded laundry and an unopened package of diapers. This was definitely a home with young children!

    “Thanks for coming on such short notice, Merlin,” Mr. Pendragon began, “I appreciate it.”

    “It’s not a problem, Mr. Pendragon,” Merlin assured him. Arthur just shook his head.

    “Arthur will be just fine. So, tell me a little about yourself, Merlin,” Arthur requested.

    “Well, I’m a recent graduate from the University of Camelot. I have a degree in primary education, I’m qualified to teach Spanish, and I have plenty of experience with infants and toddlers as well as school-aged children,” Merlin said as he passed Arthur his CV and references.

    “Yes, that’s what caught my attention in the first place,” Arthur noted, scanning the pages with a serious eye. “Tell me, what made you apply for this position if you could be teaching instead?” Merlin blushed. He’d been hoping the man wouldn’t ask that question.

    “To be perfectly honest, I’ve not had any luck with schools. Too many people like me attempting to break into teaching, I’m afraid.” he chuckled nervously. “But I know I can put my experience and knowledge to good use here, as well.”

    “I have no doubt. Well, let me tell you a little about us, and this position,” Arthur sat back in his seat. Merlin was momentarily distracted by the thickness of his thighs. “It’s just me here with Ella and Daisy. My sister and her husband were killed in a car accident a few months ago, and as their legal guardian I was left with these two little kids,” Merlin could see the still-fresh pain in Arthur’s eyes. “I was on parental leave for the first two months, and I’ve been working as much as I can from home when I’m able. But I’m the Vice-President of Marketing at Pendragon Media, and I need to get back into the office. I’ve been desperate to find someone who can help me out here at home.”

    A staticky noise suddenly crackled from the kitchen counter. A baby monitor Merlin hadn’t even noticed was lighting up. A second, beside it, remained silent.

    ”That would be Daisy,” Arthur sighed and stood up. “Want a tour of the place?”

    Merlin followed Arthur through the messy living room and up the stairs, where the cries were getting louder and louder. Arthur stopped at the second door on the right and opened it carefully.

    “Daisy,” he said gently, “Did you have a bad dream, sweetheart?” The men stepped into the darkened room and saw the infant in question laying in her crib, kicking her legs and pumping her arms, pitiful cries filling the room.

    “It’s ok, Daisy, I’m here. You’re ok,” Arthur lifted her from her mattress and cradled her to his chest. For a few minutes he just rocked on his feet with the baby in his arms, her tear-streaked face nuzzled on his shoulder. Merlin watched the tender moment with a soft smile. In that moment he saw Arthur Pendragon for what he really was – not a rich prick at all, but an exhausted new father who was doing the best he could despite feeling the stress of it all on his shoulders. Not to mention, grieving the loss of his sister and brother-in-law himself. Merlin felt guilty for his previous assumptions, knowing what he did now. He could see the tension in Arthur’s neck and jaw, and the worry lines that had no place on that handsome face. But he could also see the love he had for his niece; it brightened his already so-blue eyes. When she gazed up at her uncle with adoring eyes, his smile was soft and genuine.

    Once the baby had calmed down, Arthur turned to Merlin.

    “This is little Daisy,” he said. “She’s seven months old next Tuesday.”

    “Hello Daisy,” Merlin said to her with a smile. She raised her head from Arthur’s shoulder and turned to look at him with curiousity. She raised her tiny hand to him and Merlin took it gently in his. A gummy smile played on her plump lips.

    “She won’t go back to sleep now that she’s up,” Arthur said, grabbing a blanket and draping it over Daisy’s little body. He led the way back down to the kitchen.

    “Daisy is pretty easy once she gets to know you,” he mentioned. He found a container of puff cereal and gave her a few to gnaw on as she sat on his lap. “She only really cries when she’s sad or ill. Most of the time, she’s just happy to be along for the ride.”

    “What about her sister?” Merlin asked.

    “Ella is three, and very smart, but very strong-willed . She will ask you about a million questions a day, and she expects a serious answer every time. She loves the baby, though, and she is actually pretty helpful with her.”

    “That’s good to know,” Merlin reached out to tickle Daisy’s soft tummy. She giggled and grabbed onto his fingers.

    “Would you like to hold her?” Arthur asked. Merlin nodded and Daisy was passed between them. Merlin’s realm of professional experience was primarily with school-aged children, but he’d spent some time in early childhood development programs. His mother had also babysat loads when he was younger, and he’d spent many a summer day with little ones at his heels. When the infant didn’t start crying, but instead began grabbing at Merlin’s face with pudgy, slightly wet hands, Arthur nodded to himself.

    They sat like that for quite a while, Arthur asking questions about Merlin’s education and experience and “what would you do in this situation?”, Merlin answering in between making Daisy laugh. For his part, Merlin also asked plenty of questions. He asked about the girls’ adjustment to living without their parents, their sleep habits, how Arthur disciplined them, and even the kinds of games he played with them.

    “Play is crucial to development,” Merlin said as he pretended to nibble the fingers Daisy tried to shove into his mouth. “Kids learn so much just by finger painting, or running around the yard, or even playing make-believe.”

    Arthur was in the middle of sharing Ella’s favorite foods when the child herself appeared in the kitchen doorway.

    “Unca Awtur?” she mumbled, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She was in a simple top and leggings, her blond hair in messy pigtails on the top of her head. At first glance, she could have been Arthur’s biological daughter.

    “Ella,” Arthur went to gather her in his arms. He gave her a quick kiss on her cheek. “Did you have a good nap, darling?” She nodded, eyeing Merlin. She tapped on Arthur’s shoulder and whispered into his ear,

    “Who is that?” Arthur smiled fondly and set her on the floor.

    “Why don’t you go ask him?” Ella tip-toed over to where Merlin was sitting with her sister in his lap.

    “Hello,” he said softly, unsure of her reaction.

    “What’s your name?” she asked, face as serious as her uncle’s.

    “My name is Merlin. What is your name?” he replied. He held out a hand and she took it shyly.

    “Ella Grace Le Fay-Knight,” she said proudly. “Are you here to play with us?”

    “Well, yes. If you’d like me to,” Merlin said. Ella’s face brightened into a smile and she took one of Daisy’s dimpled hands into hers.

    “Do you know how to play dollies?”

    “I think I can manage.” Ella immediately took his hand and began pulling. Merlin stood, perching Daisy on his hip, and followed Ella up to her bedroom. Arthur was just a few paces behind them, no doubt very curious at how this stranger would handle this impromptu trial run. Ella’s standards were pretty high, inherited from her mother no doubt, and not just anyone was invited to play dollies.

    “I must warn you,” Arthur said just loud enough for Merlin to hear, “She can be a bit bossy. She got that from my sister.”

    Merlin glanced back and grinned.

    “I can be bossy, too.” He didn’t see the blush that colored Arthur’s face at his comment.

    Arthur spent an hour watching Merlin at work. He had seen Merlin seamlessly juggle a chatty, precocious toddler and a babbling, drooling infant, giving both equal attention. He’d watched as Merlin deftly avoid tantrums and neatly direct their play so Ella was forced to share without realizing it. He witnessed Merlin sit cross-legged on the rug in nice trousers and shirt, playing dollies and using funny voices to make Ella and Daisy giggle. From his perch on the rocking chair in the corner, Arthur was awfully silent.

    “Are you satisfied with the wages mentioned in the advertisement, and with the days and hours? What about the vacation time?” He asked Merlin.

    “Hmm? Oh yes! It’s all very generous of you,” Merlin turned from Ella to answer him.

    “How soon would you be able to start?” Arthur asked slowly. The anxiety was back in his eyes.

    “Well, I’ve got nothing on, so Monday I suppose?” Ella shoved another dolly in his face and he took it and pretended to kiss her with it. She giggled wildly. “Wait, you want _me_?” Arthur smiled.

    “There’s something about you, Merlin,” he said. “I think you’re exactly what this little family needs.”


	2. The Big Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur returns to work and finds himself reflecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thanks to everyone who has left such lovely comments on the last chapter! It's a pleasure to write for you!

    This had to be the longest Monday in the history of Mondays. Arthur sat at his desk, just about ready to bash his head against the wooden top, unable to do much more than watch the clock on the wall tick one minute closer to 5 p.m. He was tempted to just leave now, to just shut down his computer and make a run for the parking garage. It’s not like he would get anything productive done in the next forty-five minutes, anyway. 

    “Who have you become, Pendragon?” He snorted as he turned back to the email he’d been trying to read. It truly was amazing how much kids rearranged the priorities in one’s life, among other things. Six months ago he would have been able to answer five emails, take two phone calls, and review a full report in forty-five minutes. Six months ago, he was busy climbing the ladder to CEO and future owner of Pendragon Media, spending ten to twelve hours in the office daily in an effort to prove himself to his father, the current CEO, and the Board of Directors. He survived on protein shakes, green juice, and caffeine, and the only way he could fall asleep at night was to kill himself in the gym for at least an hour in the evenings. Sure, he missed out on a lot of things that other 25-year-olds did, like seeing movies or dating or going to the pub on a Friday night, but he told himself he was happy because he was successful and he owned a beautiful home and a nice car. He’d had the best education at Oxford and would one day be CEO of one of the most revered media companies in the country. He could enjoy himself when he retired. If he ever retired...

    Then came that horrible day three months ago. The day that changed everything, all of his goals, all of his dreams, all of his plans. He had been leaving the gym after a twelve hour workday when his father called to tell him Morgana and Leon had been in a car accident. At first he could barely make out what his father was saying, and then he realized Uther Pendragon was crying. He had never heard his father cry before. 

    The drunk driver in the Hummer had T-boned Leon’s sedan, sending the tank of a vehicle through the driver’s side door. Leon had died instantly, the doctors said. He hadn’t suffered much, they assured, he had probably lost consciousness before he registered the pain of his broken body. Morgana had managed to hold on long enough to make it to the hospital, though the doctors were not at all hopeful. As she lay on a gurney in the trauma unit, she made Arthur promise he would look after her girls, to love them as she and Leon had. He swore on his life, and she had died from her injuries with a smile on her bloodied, lovely face. Arthur had cried like a baby as the the heart monitor flat-lined, trying desperately to hold onto his big sister. He had to be pried away by two nurses and led to another room to calm down.

    Leon and Morgana Knight left behind a house, their life savings, a few investments, and their two young daughters. In the wake of their death, the house was sold, and both the proceeds went to paying funeral costs and any remaining bills. The whole of their savings and investments were put into trusts for Ella and Daisy for when they were older. Ella and Daisy went to Arthur.

    Ella Grace and Daisy Joy Le Fey-Knight. They only children Arthur could stand. Ella had been the first baby he had ever held, and she had stolen her Uncle Arthur’s heart the moment her tiny fingers clasped around his. He had cradled her in his arms just the once and he was done for. Daisy had done the same when she waltzed into the world seven months ago. He loved his nieces dearly, doted on them as much as an uncle could, and he hadn’t hesistated when his sister and brother-in-law had asked him to become Ella and Daisy’s legal guardian. “On the totally unlikely chance that something should happen to both of us, of course!” Leon had assured him. 

    And yet Arthur had sat in the lawyer’s office not two days after the accident with an oblivious Ella on his lap, her sister peacefully sleeping in her carseat at his feet. After an hour with the lawyer, the girls were his - he was now fully and legally responsible for their health, welfare, and happiness for the rest of their lives. Of all the things he thought he would do by 25, being a single father was not one of them. But like everything he’d ever done in his life, he dove in head first. He really didn’t have any other choice. Uther gave him three months paternity leave, telling him to forget about work and focus on the girls. Arthur’s eyes had nearly popped out of his head. His father had never given him more than a week off at a time in the four years he had worked at Pendragon Media, and he had certainly never told him to forget about work. He reminded his father of as much.

    “Those are my granddaughters,” Uther had said quietly. “They’re all we have left of Morgana and Leon. They must always come first.” 

    So began Arthur’s adventure in raising two young children. For all his doting, he really had no experience in taking care of babies or toddlers. He’d changed only a few diapers in his life, and his knowledge of cooking for a three year old extended only as far as PB&J sandwiches and cutting up various fruits and vegetables. He had no toys or furniture suitable for little ones, and his kitchen was embarrassingly barren. The first week had been the hardest for him, and he’d never been so grateful to his father before in his life. Uther practically moved in with him for the first five days, showing Arthur how to mix up formula and how to take care of blow-out diapers and how to put a child to sleep. He’d single-handedly raised two children successfully to adulthood, and he spent considerably more time with his grandchildren than Arthur had. He was a huge help during the tantrums and Daisy’s late night crying sessions, and even let Arthur cry on his shoulder when the stress of it all set in on the third night. Arthur’s best friends, Gwen and Lance, had also come over whenever they were able. They would often just hover in the background, quietly doing laundry or the washing up or making dinner when Arthur was simply too exhausted to think about cooking. Thank God for the people who step up when the going gets tough.

    And thank God for Merlin Emrys. Arthur had hit his stride about two months into his new life as father of two. He wouldn’t say that he had the hang of the whole parenting thing, but he was moving in the right direction. He and the girls had begun seeing a family therapist twice a week, in order for them all to process their new situation and to learn how to deal with their grief and for Arthur to work through his anxieties and doubts about his parenting. As much as he disliked therapy at first, he had really begun to see a difference at home. The girls had (for the most part) come to understand that Mommy and Daddy were gone, and that they were staying with Uncle Arthur now. Ella’s tantrums had decreased somewhat, and Daisy was beginning to learn that comfort came from Arthur now. For his part, Arthur had come to feel steadily more confident and comfortable in his new role. There were less dirty dishes in the sink, and food in the kitchen, and he was getting better at  multi-tasking chores while the girls were napping. But he needed to go back to work. Pendragon Media needed him, and  _ he _ needed to get back into dress clothes and back into the office. He loved his girls, loved them more with each passing day, and he had every intention of being the best parent he could to them, but his sanity depended on him getting to analyze data and meet with clients and create marketing campaigns. Gwen had suggested finding a full-time nanny, someone to watch the girls and take care of the house while Arthur was at work. It wasn’t like he couldn’t afford it, and he certainly could have used some help. So he made a profile and created a job posting on FindAJob.com, and within two days had five different people sending their resumes. Two were absolutely never going to step foot into his home, and the other three were invited to coffee at a nearby cafe for a brief interview. They were all elderly women who seemed too old for the rigorous demands of caring for an infant and a three-year-old. Nevertheless, he had invited each of them to his home to meet the girls, and each of them had been rejected by a sassy Ella, whose cold silence was enough of an answer for him. He was ready to give up hope when he received an email late last Thursday. 

    Merlin Emrys, recently graduated Summa Cum Laude from Camelot University with a degree in Primary Education. Not exactly what he’d had in mind, but his return to work had loomed ever closer. Merlin, who had stood on his doorstep looking nervous and in need of a few good hot meals and a haircut. Merlin, whose smile was so big his eyes got squinty. Merlin, who had been the only candidate both girls not only tolerated, but adored from the beginning. After the details had been ironed out and Merlin had said goodbye for the evening, Ella had chattered nonstop about “Merly” and how she wanted to play dollies with him again. Daisy’s lower lip had quivered a little when Merlin handed her back to Arthur, which her uncle had never seen before.

    Arthur had left his girls that morning with a mixture of relief and regret. He knew it was for the best; he knew he needed to get back to work, he knew he had responsibilities at Pendragon Media. And he knew his girls were in good hands. Despite his youth, Merlin had been the most qualified person Arthur had met: he was learned in child development, he had a good grasp of proper nutrition and food preparation, and he could teach a variety of subjects. But Arthur couldn’t help but feel that he was letting his girls down somehow. Was this how every working parent felt? Torn between wanting to have a fulfilling career and wanting to be with the kids? He had been tense all day, fingers itching to text Merlin and check in. Merlin had promised to call or text if anything came up, but Arthur’s phone had been silent. More than once he found himself staring at the device, the background of which was a picture of Ella and Daisy cuddled against Arthur’s chest. Each time he glanced at the image, he was struck with an ache in his heart, a sudden desire to feel Ella’s little arms around his neck or Daisy’s sleepy head on his shoulder.

    Finally,  _ finally _ , the clock struck five. For the first time in his life, he was leaving work with the rest of the Pendragon Media employees. He’d always wondered what that was like. He threw his phone and his travel mug into his briefcase and raced out of his office in record time. The sun was still out. Huh. 

    The house was silent when he unlocked the door and pushed his way in. The first thing he noticed was the lack of clutter. Blankets were folded neatly in the basket by the sofa. Wait...when had there been a basket by the sofa? Toys were gathered neatly in the corner of the living room, organized and out of the way. The sink was empty of dishes, as was the counter and table. There was a delicious smell coming from the oven. But where were Merlin and the girls? Loosening his tie, he climbed the stairs and peered into Ella’s room, the first on the left. Empty. He heard low voices now, coming from Daisy’s room. Stepping inside, he was greeted by a sight that warmed his heart. Merlin sat on the floor with his back against the dresser, Daisy chewing on his finger from where she was tucked into the crook of his arm. Ella sat beside him, leaning against his leg. The three-year-old had a book in her hands and she was explaining what the pictures meant.

    “And the wittle duckie said, ‘I’m so sad! I’m aw awone!’” She paused to turn the page. “But just them, the mama duckie came back and finded him.”

    “She  _ found _ him,” Merlin gently corrected.

    “She found him,” Ella repeated, grinning up at him.

    Merlin, sensing another presence in the room, turned and smiled as he saw Arthur, making his eyes crinkle.

    “Hello, Arthur,” he said, shifting Daisy on his lap. Ella looked up from her book and shrieked, jumping to her feet and running to Arthur.

    “Unca Artur!” She cried, “Huggy huggy!” He picked her up and she threw her little arms around his neck, decorating his face with kisses. “I missted you!”

    “I missed you too, darling!” He assured her. “Were you a good girl for Merlin today?”

    “Yes!” She said, beaming down at the messy-headed man.

    “She really was good,” Merlin said as he got to his feet. “They both were.”

    “No tantrums?” Arthur had his doubts. While the tantrum situation had calmed somewhat, Ella still had her moments.

    “A little blip at nap-time, but we smoothed things out.”

    Daisy began reaching for Arthur, tiny fingers grasping air as she leaned toward him. He took her into his left arm, Ella already in his right, and dropped a kiss on her soft cheek. She giggled and took his face in her hands, lunging to gum at his chin in her version of a kiss. Arthur’s heart skipped and he grinned. This was what he had been waiting for all day: to be home with his girls in his arms. Nothing had ever felt so right.

    “I did two loads of laundry,” Merlin said quietly as he cleaned up the small pile of books on the floor. “The girls’ clothes and a load of blankets and towels.” He stood and headed for the door. “Both girls ate their lunch and took their naps. Daisy had all of her bottles. The kitchen has been cleaned and disinfected, and dinner is in the oven for you.”

    “Dinner? You had time to cook?” Arthur followed him down the stairs.

    “Multi-tasking, Arthur. I’m good at it,” Merlin gave him a cheeky grin. “It’s just a simple casserole, cheesy pasta with chicken and broccoli.”

    “You’re a miracle worker, Merlin,” Arthur set Ella down. “I can’t tell you how grateful I am.”

    “I’m happy to help,” Merlin shrugged, a shy smile on his lips.


	3. The Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Merlin's flat is flooded, Arthur offers up his guest bedroom for the night.

     In the coming weeks, a routine developed quite nicely. Arthur would rise at 5 a.m. and work out for an hour in his home gym before showering and making a cup of coffee. He now only had one cup per day instead of three, and he had come to savor that first sip in the cool of the morning. The girls would wake around 6:30, and after getting them ready for the day Arthur would make them all breakfast. They would eat together and spend some time playing or reading until Merlin arrived precisely at 8 a.m., when Arthur would hurry to dress and gather his briefcase and the lunch he had started packing the night before. He would then tell Merlin of any errands or appointments for that day, and give Ella and Daisy hugs and kisses before leaving for work at 8:30. He felt a new drive at work now that he had something worth returning home for. He was more focused, more intent on finishing tasks and accomplishing goals so that he wouldn’t have to bring any of it home. And when he clocked out at 5 p.m. each day, he found it was very easy to forget about work - his focus turned back to his girls. Evenings consisted of dinner and washing up before giving the girls a bath and preparing them for bed. Then it would be a bottle for Daisy before she drifted off, and a book or two or Ella. Once they were snoozing, Arthur would read or catch up on Netflix until 9 or 10 p.m., when he would ready himself for bed. It was a routine he never imagined himself having, but he was learning to take pleasure in it.

     Merlin, for his part, had changed the Pendragon household in the few short weeks he had been with them. He had come right into Arthur’s home and taken charge, removing some of the stress of sudden fatherhood from Arthur’s shoulders. Merlin arrived at 8 a.m. on the dot every weekday morning, ready to jump into work. He was always in a good mood, always had a smile ready, and always had a kind word or funny line to cheer you up. He cooked and cleaned and did the laundry and kept the kitchen stocked with fresh, healthy food for the family and kept toilet paper in the bathrooms. He fed the girls and played with them and read to them. The girls loved him; Daisy was becoming just as comfortable with him as with her uncle, and Ella enjoyed his learning games and the structure he provided. Arthur even noticed her vocabulary growing, and she threw less tantrums than before (he figured it had something to do with giving Merlin permission to discipline as needed). Arthur was more grateful to the man then he would ever be able to say. He didn’t have to worry about his girls while he was at work; he knew that they were in the best hands possible. He was certain he’d made the right choice when Ella started waiting near the door as the clock ticked closer to Merlin’s arrival, and when Daisy’s legs would start kicking when the doorbell rang each day.  
Arthur wasn’t sure when he started waiting for Merlin as eagerly as his girls. It certainly wasn’t at the beginning; Merlin was just the guy who responded to his ad, someone who was willing to help Arthur care for his children and his home. He was alright-looking, if not a little on the under-nourished side. And Arthur had absolutely no intention of even entertaining the idea of dating, not while he was still figuring out fatherhood and coping with his sister’s death. Not that he had a ton of experience with relationships to begin with - he’d been more of a playboy in his youth, too busy with his education and career to have anything more than the occasional fling or one-night stand. His longest relationship lasted six months, when he’d dated Sophia Prince in his first year of uni, back before he had come out to his father as gay. Uther Pendragon had stopped pushing young ladies on him and switched to finding eligible young men, despite Arthur’s protests.

     If he was honest with himself, his attraction to Merlin Emrys had been a slow burn. The man was in his life and in his home five days a week. He cared for Arthur’s children, and by extension cared for Arthur himself. So of course Arthur would develop a fondness for him. Of course he would notice how nice Merlin’s smile was, or how pleasant his laugh was. Of course he would notice that Merlin always smelled clean and faintly woodsey. If he was honest, Arthur would admit that he had begun to perk up a little when the doorbell rang, internally kicking his legs as Daisy did. At some point he started getting butterflies in his stomach when Merlin walked into the room. At some point, Merlin’s eyes became the most lovely blue, his smooth, low voice shiver-inducing.

     The Friday morning about two months into Merlin’s time with them came complete with clouds and rain. Breakfast had hardly been finished when the tell-tale sound of Merlin's bike grew closer. Arthur watched Ella slide down from her chair and run to the front door. Oddly, Arthur felt his heart rate pick up as footsteps approached the door.

     “Merly! Merly Merly!” Ella jumped up and down as Arthur gathered Daisy in his arms and went to answer the door. He was greeted by a breathless, slightly rumpled Merlin. There was something different about him this morning, but Arthur just couldn’t put his finger on it.

     “Good morning, Merlin,” Arthur smiled.

     “Good morning,” Merlin replied, brushing stray raindrops from his hair. That was it! Merlin's usually shaggy mane had been clipped short, leaving his long neck and a pair of adorable ears on display. This new revelation did not, however, distract Arthur from the fact that Merlin's smile was tight, and didn't quite reach his eyes.

     “Everything okay?” Arthur asked as he shut the door. He shifted Daisy to his hip, smoothing down some fine fly-away hairs across her forehead.

     “Oh, yeah,” Merlin removed his jacket and hung it on the hook. “Had a bit of a rough morning. The flat above me flooded last night, and I woke up to water everywhere. I’ve been forced to evacuate for the night while it gets cleaned up.”

     Now that he mentioned it, Merlin did look like someone who had left in a rush. He hadn’t shaved, the dark stubble a stark contrast to his fair skin. His clothes were clean but wrinkled, and the hems of his jeans were damp, no doubt from wading through water that morning.

     “I’m sorry, that’s terrible! How long will it take to fix?”

     “My landlord said I should be able to return tomorrow. You wouldn’t happen to know of a cheap motel I could crash at, would you?” Merlin knelt down to give Ella a hug and to wipe some crumbs off her face with his fingers.

     “Why don’t you just stay here tonight?” Arthur offered before he could stop himself. “There’s a guest room already made up, private bathroom and everything.”

     “I couldn’t ask that of you, Arthur,” Merlin rose to his level once more, eyes serious.

     “You’re not asking, I’m offering,” Arthur passed the baby to him. “You’re more than welcome. Think about it.” Before Merlin could argue, Arthur ran upstairs to finish getting ready for work.

     Just after lunch Arthur received a text. I’ll stay. Thanks, was all it said. Arthur grinned.

                                                                                                -     -     -     -     -

      Merlin had sent off the text before he could lose his nerve. Never had he imagined that Arthur Pendragon would offer for him to stay the night. Not that Arthur wasn’t generous or kind, but really? Merlin was his employee - you didn’t invite your employees to sleep in the guest bedroom, right? Whatever the reason, Merlin was grateful. He wouldn’t have to spend money on a crappy motel room somewhere while his flat was getting fixed up, and he genuinely enjoyed the Pendragon family. He may have had some reservations about being a “manny” (as his friend Will so kindly put it…), but he had grown fond of Ella and Daisy. Their bright little faces always made him smile, and he really felt he was able to make a difference in their lives, even if he wasn’t exactly putting his education to good use. And Arthur...well, Arthur was gorgeous and funny and so tender with the girls...Merlin was smitten. He had been since their first meeting. It had been years since Merlin had had a crush on anyone, and it made him feel 14 again. And seeing the man every day only added fuel to the fire. Seeing him cuddling his children did weird things to Merlin’s insides.

     He tried his best to remain cool and collected as the day wore on. He went through the daily routine of feeding Daisy her bottle, putting the girls down for a nap, and doing some tidying up. Today while they slept he spent extra time and attention on cleaning the kitchen and the living room. He figured a good deep clean was the least he could do if Arthur was letting him stay the night. He got in a solid two hours of cleaning, stopping only once he heard the girls begin to wake on the baby monitors. Once Daisy’s nappy had been changed and Ella had eaten a snack, they settled in the nursery for playtime. Well, Daisy played with some chewy toys while Ella confidently told Merlin a princess story, using a picture book as her guide. Merlin was rather surprised when he realized that she was not that off base.

     At half five the front door opened. In a sudden rush of self-consciousness (or was it preening?), Merlin searched for the nearest reflective surface to check his hair in. He was still unused to it being so short, and his ears had always been a point of discomfort. But Mordred, his friend and professional hairstylist, had insisted it would catch an eye or two. Primping complete and with Daisy on his hip, Merlin herded Ella down the stairs. Arthur was tossing his keys into the bowl on the foyer table.

     “Huggy!” Ella cried as she ran to him. He lifted her into his arms and hugged her tightly, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

     “Hello, darling!” He laughed. “Did you have a good day?”

     “We went to the stow!”

     “Did you? And what did you get at the store?”

     “We got milk for Daisy-Baby, and bananas and sketti!”

     “We got everything on the shopping list,” Merlin passed Daisy to Arthur, taking Ella in turn.

     “Thanks, Merlin,” Arthur said.

     “It’s my pleasure,” Merlin locked eyes with Arthur for a moment, partially transfixed by how blue they were. He had to shake himself slightly to clear his head. “Dinner is in the slow-cooker when you’re ready.”

     “That sounds brilliant.” Arthur turned a stern eye on him and said, “You’re officially off duty now, Merlin. You of course can go off and do whatever you like, but you’re more than welcome to stay and join us.”

     That’s how Merlin ended up tucked into a (rather delicious, if he did say so himself) bowl of beef stew and crusty bread. Arthur sat at the head of the table, with Daisy in her high chair at his right and Ella in her booster seat beside him on his left. Between bites of beef and potatoes, Merlin watched as Arthur moved with practiced ease. He would take a bite, swivel to help Ella cut up her food, turn to feed Daisy a bite of her mashed peas, take another bite and get a drink of water, and repeat. Arthur had insisted that Merlin not help, as Merlin was no longer working. He had to admit, it was hard to sit and enjoy his own meal while watching Arthur obviously not able to fully enjoy his. He was impressed, though. Arthur looked completely at ease, completely used to the dance of feeding his children and himself at the same time. Never once did he complain or look flustered or frustrated, and never once did he ask Merlin for assistance.

     Merlin offered to clean up after dinner, but Arthur wouldn’t hear of it. He set the girls in the living room with some toys and went to work cleaning up the kitchen and putting dishes into the washer. Merlin wasn’t really sure what to do with himself, and it just seemed weird to go and shut himself into the guest room. So he wandered into the living room and observed the goings on there. He spied Ella on her miniature easy-chair, placed next to the one her uncle no doubt liked to relax in after a long day. There was a stack of picture books on the floor beside her, and her head was bent over her current favorite, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. Her lips moved silently as she tried to sound out the words. Not wanting to disturb her peaceful moment, he scanned the room for the baby. Daisy sat on a blanket in the center of the room, right where Arthur had left her. She had a stuffed monkey in her hands, it’s soft tail being mashed furiously between her gums. She had been fussier than usual today, crying and just wanting to be held all the time. Now he guessed she wasn’t feeling well because she had a new tooth poking its way up. He went and sat beside her on the floor, and she immediately reached out for him.

     “Come here, love,” he murmured, lifting her into his arms. She buried her head in his shoulder, monkey tail firmly in her gums, and whimpered. He rocked her gently, rubbing soothing circles across her back. Merlin didn’t know how long he sat there for, but when Arthur returned from the kitchen he graced him with a tender smile.

     “Well, that’s one down.” Merlin glanced at Daisy’s face - the infant was snoring softly, long lashes fluttering against her cheeks. The stuffed monkey had long fallen to the floor.

     “I’ll get her into bed,” Merlin offered. Arthur nodded his thanks and moved to his eldest niece.

     “Ella, darling,” he said as he knelt before her, “It’s time to start getting ready for bed.”

     “Ok, daddy.”


	4. The Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur opens up to Merlin about his fears and insecurities. Family moments give Merlin new perspective.

    Arthur watched as Ella scampered up the stairs, blond pigtails bouncing as she went. What had she just called him? He turned to Merlin, who looked just as surprised as he felt. Merlin blinked owlishly at him a moment before turning to follow the three-year-old up the stairs. Arthur felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room, and he was getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen. He forced himself to take a few deep breaths before willing his feet to move. Upstairs he passed Daisy’s room, where Merlin was attempting to change the baby’s diaper and slip her into her footie pajamas without waking her. Further down the hall, Arthur found Ella in her bedroom, pulling a nightgown over her head. He was proud of her for taking the initiative - a month ago, she wouldn’t even come upstairs for bedtime unless Arthur practically carried her up himself. Half of their battles had been over bedtimes.

    “Is Merly having a spend-the-night?” She asked as her head popped through the neck. Arthur went over to help her find the arm holes.

    “Uh, yeah,” Arthur nodded. “Merlin is spending the night here while his flat gets fixed.”

    “Can we have pancakes in the mowning?” She asked as he led her to the bathroom. He squeezed a small amount of bubble-gum flavored gel onto her toothbrush and monitored her as she scrubbed her teeth. 

    “We’ll see,” he murmured. He fell silent for the rest of her bedtime routine, which didn’t seem to matter much to the chatty child. When she was finally tucked into bed, Arthur leaned in to kiss her forehead.

    “Night night Ella, sleep tight. I love you.” 

    “I love you too, daddy,” Ella whispered as she yawned. He swallowed hard and switched off the light. He found Merlin in Daisy’s room, just settling her into her crib. Daisy had apparently woken during her diaper change, and Merlin had spent the last fifteen minutes lulling her back to sleepiness. Arthur leaned over the dozing infant and gently brushed his fingers across her little fist. He marvelled at the softness of her skin, the plumpness of her cheeks as they smooshed against the mattress, the fine hair that darkened a little more each day. 

    “Goodnight Daisy, I love you sweetheart,” he whispered. She snuffled a sigh in response and slipped deeper into dreamland. His heart squeezed and he bit his lip at the rush of emotions flooding through him. 

    Arthur met up with Merlin in the hallway. The younger man caught a glimpse of Arthur’s expression and smiled gently.

    “Cup of tea?” he offered helpfully. Arthur managed a small smile.

    “I was thinking of something a little stronger,” he admitted. “Care to join me?” Merlin nodded and followed him down to the kitchen. Arthur made a beeline for the tallest cupboard. 

    “I’m afraid all I’ve got is scotch and red wine,” Arthur said. He caught Merlin’s quirked brow and shrugged. “Parenthood has made me an old man.”

    “Wine is fine,” Merlin took two glasses from the cabinet and passed them to Arthur, who then filled them with garnet liquid from a freshly opened bottle. They wandered into the living room, where Arthur sank heavily into his arm chair. Merlin took a seat on the sofa. He took a sip from his glass, surprised by how easily the merlot went down. He was more of a pint-of-beer bloke himself, but he was learning to appreciate the finer things. He tried to keep his eyes on his glass, not wanting to intrude on what felt like a very personal moment for Arthur, but he found it nearly impossible. Something in Arthur’s furrowed brows, the tension in his shoulders make Merlin’s heart break. 

    “I never--,” Arthur suddenly started, “This isn’t-- God, Merlin.” He shook his head and sighed.

    They just sat after that for what seemed like hours. Finally, Arthur’s whisper broke the silence.

    “I never want her to forget her parents. Morgana and Leon loved those girls  _ so much _ ...nothing hurts worse than knowing Ella and Daisy will never know...they’ll never remember their mummy and daddy.” His voice cracked, and Merlin could see the sparkle of tears in his eyes just threatening to spill over. “I’ve tried so hard to keep Morgana and Leon’s memory in this home, but I just feel like they’re slipping away from me with each passing day.”

    Merlin recalled the various pictures that Arthur had put up over the last several weeks, images of a dark haired woman and a ginger man and two smiling children. They made a beautiful family. Ella had Leon’s coloring and curls, and Daisy was going to be Morgana’s mirror image one day. And he could have sworn that tonight, while he hovered over Daisy’s sleeping form, Arthur murmured, “mummy and daddy are watching over you.”

    “Arthur,” Merlin finally spoke. Arthur glanced up at him, eyes wide. “It’s inevitable that the girls will forget their parents. They’re so young - it’s only natural that the memories will fade as time goes on, even with the reminders that you put in place. That doesn’t mean that they didn’t love their parents when they had them. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you’ve done something wrong. You’re their parent now, and whether you like it or not, whether you’re  _ ready _ or not, they will learn to see you as their father. And that means calling you daddy, because that’s essentially the role you’re playing in their lives. But one day they’ll be old enough to understand what happened to their parents, and they’ll understand that they have been so loved by so many people.”

    “I know you’re right. Our therapist has said as much. I just…,” Arthur took a breath, tossed back the rest of his wine, and bit his lip. “I’m afraid, Merlin. Those first few weeks were so busy and so stressful and I was so completely out of my league, but I wasn’t afraid. I didn’t have the time or the energy to be. And the part of my mind that wasn’t a jumbled mess was just numb from the pain. But now the smoke is clearing, you know? Now we’ve got a routine and we’ve got you, and you’ve helped so much more than you can know. My mind finally has a chance to catch up.”

    “It’s finally feeling real?” Merlin murmured. 

    “Yes. It’s real and it’s terrifying. I’m a father. I’m a gay man - I never even expected that I would have children, and now I have two. My work shirts get mixed up with baby socks in the wash. Half the time I eat scraps from a tiny plastic plate. But you know what scares me the most?” 

    “What?” 

    “It’s that I wouldn’t change a single thing.”

-     -     -     -     -

    Merlin was having one hell of a dream. He and Arthur Pendragon were walking hand in hand along a beautiful stretch of beach. The sun was just setting, bathing them in vivid oranges and pinks, illuminating Arthur’s golden hair. The evening breeze had sent a chill through his body, and Arthur had stopped to pull Merlin into his warm arms. They nuzzled and sighed and Merlin burned with desire. Finally, he leaned in closer and closer, until their lips were nearly touching and-

    An earthquake shook them apart. 

    “MERLY! MERLY! MERLY!”

    Merlin’s eyes flashed open. It took him a moment to remember that he was not in his own tiny bed in his own shabby flat. Instead, he was in a luxurious queen-sized bed in a guest room that was bigger than his entire living room. And the earthquake was a three-year-old bouncing up and down beside him. 

    “Ella? What are you doing?” He rubbed his eyes and sat up, trying to get his bearings. Ella bounced onto her bottom and grinned at him. She had dressed herself in a flowing pink princess dress, her curls a wild crown around her head.

    “It’s mowning, sewy goose!” She giggled. 

    “Where’s Uncle Arthur?” 

    “He’s steew sleeping,” she said simply. “Come on, let’s go get Daisy-Baby!”

    Merlin groaned and rolled out of bed, following Ella out to the hallway. At the end of the hall the master bedroom’s door was ajar. A quick peek told Merlin that Arthur was sound asleep on his stomach, much the way Daisy slept in her cot. Remembering the previous evening’s difficult revelations, Merlin decided that Arthur deserved to get some uninterrupted sleep for a change. 

    He managed to get three minutes alone in the bathroom before Ella’s little hand found its way under the door. When he emerged, she grabbed his hand and practically dragged him to Daisy’s room. They found the baby awake and wide-eyed, just waiting calmly for someone to come get her. After a quick diaper change, and Ella insisting Daisy be dressed in a matching princess dress, the trio made their way downstairs.

    “What sounds good for breakfast?” Merlin asked as he settled Daisy into her high-chair.

    “Pancakes!” Ella cried, jumping around the kitchen. 

    “Alright, pancakes it is!”

    “Yay!”

    Merlin spent the next forty-five minutes making a breakfast that should have taken half that time, which he had found to nearly always be the case when cooking with small children underfoot. He had first given Daisy some cereal puffs to gnaw on while he worked, then had to find something for Ella to do so she wouldn’t get into too much trouble. She was eager to help, so she ended up stirring the pancake batter for him. While he got the griddle going, he gave her the task of transferring mixed berries from their cartons into a bowl. This occupied her long enough for him to get the rest of breakfast prepared and on the table.

-     -     -     -     -

    The smell of fresh coffee brewing was what brought Arthur into consciousness. He woke slowly, blinking away sleep and wine-fueled dreams about his children’s caretaker. He heard voices coming from downstairs and darted his eyes to the clock on his bedside table - nearly 8 a.m. Merlin must have gotten the girls up to let Arthur sleep in. Pushing aside the guilt of Merlin working on his day off, Arthur climbed out of bed and took a five-minute shower before heading downstairs to join his family.

    He found his favorite breakfast waiting for him on the kitchen table: golden pancakes, fluffy scrambled eggs, crisp bacon, and fresh fruit. A pot of hot coffee and a carafe of cold orange juice also sat on the table. Better still, all of his favorite people were all sitting around the table. Daisy was in her high-chair, fists full of egg and pancake bits. Ella was popping blueberries into her mouth with her fingers. Merlin was sat between the two girls, making them giggle and shriek with some silly antic or another. He glanced up when he heard Arthur enter, a smile crinkling his eyes. Arthur took note of the way Merlin’s gaze lingered on his shirtless form, his cheeks taking on a tinge of pink. Either Merlin was a prude, or he was at least a little attracted to a man with muscles, and the possibilities gave him a thrill he hadn’t felt in a very long time. 

    “Good morning Arthur,” Merlin cleared his throat and passed Arthur an empty plate.

    “Morning Merlin,” Arthur hovered over Daisy to give her a smacking kiss that made her giggle before dropping another on the top of Ella's head. He sat beside his eldest niece and began loading up his plate. “Thanks for making breakfast, Merlin. And wrangling the girls. I really appreciate it.”

    “No problem,” Merlin said as he sipped his coffee. “It's the least I could do for you letting me crash here for the night.”

    “You're always welcome to stay the night,” Arthur told him, voice a little huskier than he intended. Merlin's eyes widened before dropping to his coffee. “When you need to, I mean.”

    “Right,” Merlin looked up at Arthur through his lashes, quirking his lips. “I’ll remember that the next time I need a bed to sleep in.”

    They locked eyes for a moment, something tangible passing between them. Some sort of realization. Arthur was about to open his mouth when Daisy let out a squeal and flung scrambled egg into Merlin’s face. 

     It was early afternoon when Merlin got a text from his landlord saying he could come back home. The carpet would take a few days to fully dry, but it was fine for him to be there as most of the damage had been taken care of overnight. He had been watching a Disney film with Arthur and the girls, Ella reclining against his chest and mindlessly playing with his fingers. Arthur was cradling a dozing Daisy, her empty afternoon bottle on the floor by his feet. Merlin was simply too comfortable and content to move just yet, so he decided to wait until the film was over to leave.

    As he sat watching a little blue alien dance to Elvis Presley music, Merlin thought about the little family he was surrounded by. Never in a million years would he have imagined working as a nanny, let alone finding himself falling in love with the family he was charged with caring for. And yet here he was. Ella was smart and sassy, and he just knew she was going to grow up to be a fierce, powerful woman. It was probably too soon to guess who Daisy would become, but nothing brought him more pure joy than hearing her belly laugh, or having her lunge at his face to give him her baby kisses. He could genuinely say that he loved these little girls, and that while being their caretaker paid his bills, it also gave him a fulfillment that he didn’t know he was missing. 

    Arthur was just...Arthur. He was pretty much everything Merlin had always looked for in a man: compassionate, intelligent, good with kids...and it didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous, with or without his shirt. The longer Merlin worked within the Pendragon household, the more his little crush on the man became something deeper, more serious. And before this weekend, he would have said that his feelings were purely one-sided. But then he learned that Arthur was gay, and he felt hope. And then this morning at breakfast, the way Arthur looked at him...and he felt that maybe, just maybe, there was something there. 

    He glanced around as the credits rolled. Ella had fallen asleep against him, her thumb having found its way into her mouth. Daisy was snoozing peacefully against Arthur’s chest, his head resting against hers as he caught a few moments of easy sleep. The scene sent a surge of fondness through Merlin’s heart. What was it that Stitch had said about his family? 

_     ‘It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah - still good.’ _


	5. Emergency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur experiences his first real terrifying moment as a parent. Merlin saves the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I'm sorry for this. I cried writing it. Secondly, I tried to do some research but I am not familiar with how hospitals in the U.K. work.

    If life before children had been smooth and predictable and a glass of scotch after a long day at work, then life after children was being asked to juggle whilst on a rollercoaster and then falling asleep with what you hope is just baby food in your hair. Some days were easier than others, when the kids behaved and went down for all their naps and ate all their vegetables. Some days were frustrating and exhausting, and temper-tantrums and food and toys were thrown. Thankfully, the tantrums were less and less frequent, and Arthur felt like stabbing himself in the eye with a fork less often.

    Ella was still calling him ‘daddy’. She had started referring to him as such with everyone, and now Daisy was starting to say “da da” each time she saw her uncle. The guilt and fear surrounding this development had eased, but it was still so odd to hear ‘daddy’ being called throughout the house and not seeing Leon swoop in to gather up a giggling child. He finally had to bite the bullet when Merlin approached him one morning to ask what to refer to him as around the girls. Did he still want to be Uncle Arthur? Just Arthur? Daddy?

    “I guess ‘daddy’ it is,” Arthur had sighed. Merlin had given him a sympathetic smile. Somehow, it didn’t feel like a defeat, just more of a resignation to the inevitable. This was his reality now, and it was time he got over it.

    Life went on. The girls grew bigger. Ella was really starting to read, and she lost more of her baby lisp with each passing day. Daisy finally had a few solid teeth in and had taken to scooting around the place like a pro, much to Merlin and Arthur’s chagrin. A baby on the move definitely added to the chaos.

    To everyone’s surprise it was indeed sweet, calm, just-happy-to-be-here Daisy who gave Arthur his biggest scare as a parent to date.

    He had been in the middle of a meeting with his father when his phone started ringing. Merlin’s name flashed on the screen, making his heart skip a beat. That wasn’t a good sign; Merlin only ever texted Arthur at work, and only when he absolutely needed to. Maybe it was a butt dial? Maybe Ella had gotten hold of the phone and decided to call daddy?

    “Arthur.” Uther was watching him with stern eyes - his father generally disapproved of phones being brought into meetings.

    “Sorry Father,” Arthur picked the device up. “I need to take this, it’s Merlin.” Uther’s eyes widened and nodded. Arthur stood and moved away from the desk to answer the call.

    “Merlin?”

    “Arthur!” Merlin’s voice was shaky and breathless. Arthur instantly went on high alert.

    “What’s going on?”

    “Don’t panic,” Merlin said. “Daisy started having trouble breathing, and it got so bad that I called paramedics. We’re in an ambulance headed for Camelot General right now.”

    “Oh my God,” Arthur, who had been pacing across the floor, dropped into the nearest chair. “Is she okay? Is she going to be okay?”

    “The medics said she’s stable. They gave her a shot of epinephrine, but she’ll need to be treated and monitored at A&E for a while.”

    “Shit. How’s Ella?”

    “She’s pretty scared, but she’s ok.”

    “Ok. I’m leaving now, I’ll be at Camelot General as soon as possible.”

    “Be careful, Arthur.” The line went dead. Arthur looked up to find his father before him, keys already in hand.

-      -      -      -     -

    The journey to Camelot General Hospital was the longest of Arthur’s life. The last time he made this trip, he was praying that he would make it before his sister took her final breath. He could still see her face in his mind, the blood and the tears and the mask pumping oxygen into damaged lungs. It was an image that haunted him in his sleep. Now, as they sped through late morning traffic, he prayed that he would not have to add another image to his nightmares.

    The car hadn’t even come to a complete stop in front of the A&E when Arthur jumped out, leaving his father to deal with the valet. He was prepared to run right up to the check-in desk and demand to know where his niece was, but he was stopped just beyond the doors.

    “Arthur!” A familiar voice called to him. His best friend Lance, a seasoned A&E nurse, was rushing toward him, stethoscope bouncing around his neck.

    “Lance! Daisy-!”

    “I know,” Lance grabbed onto his shoulders to steady him. “She’s okay, Arthur.”

    “Where is she?”

    “She’s being attended to in acute care,” Lance led him passed the check-in desk, having pulled some strings to let Arthur through. “Babies get priority around here.”

    “Thank God for that,” Arthur muttered, eyes scanning each room, desperate to spot his niece. Finally Lance stopped at Exam Room 4 and gestured for him to enter. “My father-”

    “I’ll find him for you,” Lance clapped him on the shoulder and headed back out to the lobby.

    Arthur stepped into the cramped exam room and his felt his heart drop into his stomach. A doctor and two nurses were hovering around the gurney, talking about units of this and beats per minute and fiddling with various machines. On the gurney lay little Daisy. She had been stripped to her diaper, with electrodes attached to her chest and an oxygen mask around her nose and mouth. His gasp must have been loud, because it caught the attention of one of the nurses.

    “Sir?”

    “I’m Daisy’s guardian, Arthur Pendragon.” The nurse nodded and allowed him to step closer. She launched into an explanation of what had transpired while he was absent.

    Shortly after having a small snack, Daisy began having an allergic reaction to something she had eaten, most likely peanut butter. The anaphylaxis became worse and worse, until the paramedics arrived and needed to give her a shot of epinephrine. She was stable now, but the doctor warned that she would need to be observed for a few hours in case she had a secondary reaction.

    All Arthur wanted was to hold Daisy in his arms. He went and sat beside the gurney and took his first unobstructed view of her. The poor baby was still red with slowly disappearing hives, her sweet little face swollen. Her breathing was still wheezy, but the doctor assured him that she was satisfied with how she was progressing after being given medication. Arthur reached out and took Daisy’s tiny hand in his, causing her to stir from her drug-induced drowsiness. When she opened her puffy eyes and saw him she immediately began reaching for out, her little whimpers of ‘da da da’ muffled by the oxygen mask.

    “Can I hold her?” Arthur asked the nurses. They acquiesced and, after reevaluating Daisy’s breathing, swiftly replaced the bulky oxygen mask with a smaller nasal cannula. Daisy was then carefully picked up, still attached to various machines, and settled into Arthur’s waiting arms. The moment he pulled her against his chest Daisy began to cry. It was the saddest thing he had ever heard, and he fought hard to keep his own tears at bay. Daisy only cried when she was absolutely miserable, and it broke his heart every time.

    “I’m here now, Daisy,” he said as he rocked her gently. “Daddy’s here now, everything is going to be okay.” He kissed her forehead and snuggled her closer.

    Nurses and doctors and medical students came in and out of the room after that, checking Daisy’s vitals and documenting the progression of her allergic reaction. Arthur had finally gotten his baby girl to sleep when Lance returned, looking slightly less frazzled.

    “Daisy has some visitors,” he said with a warm smile. Before Arthur could question him, Uther came around the corner carrying a somber Ella. Trailing behind them was Merlin, who looked a mess.

    Uther set Ella on the floor and the child rushed over to her sister. As gently as Arthur had seen her do anything, she reached up and stroked one of Daisy’s chubby cheeks. The baby hardly stirred, exhausted as she was.

    “Is Daisy okay, daddy?” Ella whispered, leaning against him to get a better view of her sister.

    “She’s just sleeping,” Arthur told her. “She needs rest to get better.”

    “Good. I don’t want Daisy to hurt no more,” Ella frowned. “I was so a-scared when we came in the amb-ba-lens.”

    “Oh, darling.” Arthur brushed her wild hair from her face. “You’re such a good big sister. I bet Daisy was really glad you were with her in the ambulance.” Ella nodded and, in an act that very nearly brought Arthur to tears, took Daisy’s hand and kissed it tenderly. The ghost of a smile graced Daisy’s sleeping lips.

    “Love you, Daisy-Baby,” Ella said with a bright smile, trusting that her kisses would make her sister better.

    “Love you, Ella,” Arthur told her quietly. She beamed up at him.

    “Love you, daddy.”

    After getting an update on Daisy’s health, and after deciding that Arthur would be okay on his own with her at the hospital, Uther announced that he would take Ella home. It was also decided that Merlin would go with him, so that Uther could return to pick his son and granddaughter up when she was released.

    “Father, can I get have a word with Merlin before you leave?” Arthur asked, nodding toward his nanny. Uther agreed and took Ella to go wait at the valet station. Merlin lingered by the door a moment before moving to sit on the gurney opposite Arthur’s chair. He reached out and ever-so-gently brushed a fingertip over Daisy’s brow.

    “What’s that look for?” Arthur noticed the sad frown on Merlin’s face for the first time.

    “I was the one who fed her the porridge with peanut butter,” he said. “If I hadn’t…”

    “Merlin, stop. I asked you to feed it to her, remember?” Arthur shifted a stirring Daisy in his arms. “It was part of the plan to start introducing peanuts to her, like her pediatrician recommended. There's no one to blame.”

    “I still feel guilty that she had to go through all of this.”

    “So do I. But it was bound to happen eventually. Now we know, and we can be better prepared going forward.”

    “I’ve already started researching peanut allergies,” Merlin shared helpfully. Arthur chuckled.

    “Of course you did. I’ve never met anyone who is more prepared than you, Merlin.”

    “I take my job very seriously.”

    By now, Daisy was fully awake, watching the two men quietly. The facial swelling had gone down a bit, and she wasn’t as weezy as before. Seeing her eyes open, Merlin dropped to his knees beside Arthur and took her hand. Arthur saw the moisture in Merlin’s eyes and, for the first time, really considered what the man went through today. All he had thought about was Daisy, and Ella, and his own fears. He had never once thought about the fear that Merlin must have felt when he realized that Daisy was struggling to breathe, or how his hands must have trembled as he dialed for emergency services. How his heart must have been pumping like crazy as he held Ella in the ambulance, watching the paramedics work to treat the baby he was charged with caring for. The anxiety of being forced to sit in a waiting room without any news on said baby, all the while being eaten up by the guilt of feeding her a food that had caused such a dangerous reaction in the first place. And despite all he himself had gone through, he had waited for hours at the hospital just to see Daisy with his own eyes and make sure she was okay.

    “I’m glad it was you with her today, Merlin,” Arthur admitted. Merlin looked up at him, confused. “The doctors and nurses have shared the paramedics’ report with me. They said you were calm and cooperative, and that you knew exactly what to do.” Merlin shrugged.

    “I am CPR and First Aid certified.”

    “A fact that has always put me at ease.” Arthur watched as Daisy sleepily raised her arms to Merlin, who shot Arthur an apologetic glance before taking the baby into his arms. He held her tenderly, smiling as the child hugged him around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. Arthur couldn’t ignore the feeling that erupted in his stomach at the sight, the knowledge that his children also found comfort in this man filling him with warmth.

    “Your children just aren’t a job to me, Arthur,” Merlin told him after some hesitation “I do care about them, and you, and I will always do whatever I can to protect your family.”

    “I can’t tell you how much that means to me. And I will never be able to repay you for saving my child’s life today.”

    “A day off would be a start.”

    “Cheeky!” Merlin smirked and leaned down to plant a kiss on Daisy's forehead.

    “Love you, Daisy-Baby.”

    As Merlin slipped from the room to join Uther and Ella, Arthur looked down at Daisy and frowned.

    “Daddy's in big trouble.”


	6. The Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin receives an invitation to Daisy's birthday party, and his relationship with Arthur takes a different tone.

     Friday night at last. Merlin shuffled through his front door with heavy-laden arms, nearly knocking over a lamp on his way to the kitchen. At the table he dropped a stack of mail, a bag of take-away, and his backpack. Two reusable bags of groceries were set on the counter, perishables quickly chucked into the refrigerator. The rest could wait until his growling stomach had been satisfied. 

    He was just picking up the take-away bag when a piece of mail beside it caught his eye. The baby-pink envelope had been addressed to “Mr. Merlin Emrys” in a delicate, swirling handwriting by what must have been an expensive fountain pen. Intrigued, he snatched it up and carried it along with his dinner and a glass of water out to the living room. After a new episode of “Lost” had been started and he had inhaled a few bites of steaming chow mein, he took a moment to open the fancy envelope. 

    Out came a thick piece of pink stock card. It beheld an image of a cake with a single candle.  _ You're invited to help us celebrate Daisy's 1st birthday!  _ it read in large, curly letters.  _ Saturday, April 14th at 12 p.m., at the Pendragon residence. Lunch and cake will be served. Please call or text Arthur to RSVP.  _ At the bottom was a request that made Merlin smile.  _ In lieu of gifts, please consider making a donation to the Rainbow Trust or one of your favorite charities in Daisy’s name.  _

__ A handwritten note had fallen out along with the invitation.  _ I was going to give this to you in person, but Ella insisted it had to be mailed. She literally watched as I stamped and mailed it. - Arthur _

__ Merlin had heard bits and pieces about Daisy's upcoming birthday party over the past few weeks, mostly from an excited Ella. From what he had gathered it was going to be a pretty intimate affair, just family and friends who were practically family. He felt honored to be considered as close as family to the Pendragons, as he had come to feel much the same way about them. 

    Shoveling a few more forkfuls of noodles and orange chicken into his mouth, he grabbed his phone to text Arthur. 

**Just got the invitation, I'll be there. Thanks for thinking of me. - M**

    His phone vibrated not five minutes later, indicating a new text message.

**Glad to hear it. I would have to be a complete savage not to invite you. - A**

Merlin smiled at the way Arthur copied his signature. Another message quickly slotted underneath the first - it was a picture of Ella with a huge grin on her face. 

**Just told Ella that Merly's coming to the party. - A**

**Lol. Is there anything I can do for the party? Set up? Bring anything? - M**

**Nope! You are a guest, not my manservant. I have other minions for such purposes - A**

**Who else will be there? - M**

**My father, my best friends Lance and Gwen, and the girls’ godfathers Percy and Gwaine. - A**

**Godfathers? - M**

**In name only, really. Percy has a family of his own, and Gwaine is a bit of a...wild spirit...shall we say? - A**

**Sounds like fun - M**

**If you're into getting flirted at by a long-haired Irishman - A**

**Maybe ;) - M**

What the hell? Where had that come from? Really, winky face? Merlin groaned as he stared at the screen - his message had been read. Damn, damn, damn-

**Only long-haired Irishmen? - A**

Wait- what? Did Arthur just...

**Well, I am partial to blondes - M**

**Good to know - A**

Whoa...

**Don't you have children to bathe? - M**

**I'll get around to it tomorrow. Daddy needed some peace and quiet tonight - A**

Merlin blushed. 

**Is that what you call it now? - M**

**…**

**Maybe ;) - A**

Oh dear sweet baby Jesus

**I'll leave you to it then - M**

**Goodnight Merlin - A**

**Night Arthur - M**

    Merlin dropped his phone onto the cushion beside him, equal parts mortified and giddy. Had Arthur Pendragon really just flirted with him? Cause that's what it seemed like. And Merlin wasn't always super obvious to that sort of thing. Flirting in general wasn’t really his thing. 

    He was probably very screwed.

    Luckily, Arthur didn't bring it up on Monday, or Tuesday, or the rest of the following week. Things were as professional as ever, if not a bit more relaxed. Arthur joked around a little more, chatted a little more openly. It felt nice, Merlin thought, almost like they were becoming friends instead of just employer and employee. And if Arthur’s eyes lingered on Merlin, the younger man pretended not to notice. 

    The morning of Daisy's birthday party dawned sunny and clear, not a cloud in the sky to threaten them with rain. Merlin spent extra time getting ready, making sure he didn't miss any spots shaving and taming his hair into something resembling a style. He even broke out the only fragrance he owned, spritzing a little in the air and walking through it the way Mordred had taught him to. He felt a little silly as he debated what to wear; he was never normally self-conscious, and he never really cared what others thought of his clothes or his style. But now he wanted to make a good impression on Arthur's friends, and his usual “ready for whatever the kids throw at him” outfits hardly seemed appropriate. And after the texts they had traded the previous week, Merlin really wanted to look good for Arthur, too. 

    In the end, he decided on a pair of well-fitting (ok, they were tight) black denim jeans and a slim-fit buttoned shirt in emerald green. A glance in the bathroom mirror told him he looked alright. He had been told by various people over the years that he was handsome, but he was inclined to think he was too skinny and too pale, and his cheekbones and mouth lent him a bit of a feminine quality that he was unsure about. But his shoulders were broad, and he had some muscle despite his lack of bulk. 

    What did Arthur think? Merlin was dying to know. He undid an extra button for good measure. 

    He arrived at the Pendragon home right on time. There were pastel balloons tied around the mailbox, with a sign that read ‘Happy Birthday Daisy!’ He pushed his bike up the side of the house and through the gate that led to the backyard. He propped up the kickstand and left the bike in it’s usual spot. Before he could move a muscle, he heard one of his favorite things: Ella shrieking “Merly, Merly, Merly!” Daisy’s squeals joined in, and as he rounded the corner he was practically knocked over by a tiny human. Ella all but attached herself to Merlin’s left knee as she beamed up at him. She was wearing what he assumed was the party dress she had been gabbing about all week - it was pink and had a puffy skirt made of tulle. Daisy, who was crawling toward them with her little tongue sticking out in determination, was wearing a matching dress in lavender. Both girls wore white shoes and a bow in their hair (or, in Daisy’s case, on a band around her head). Daisy reached his feet and held her hands up to him, making little ‘muh muh muh’ sounds.

    “Here’s the birthday girl!” He bent over to pick her up and settle her snuggly into the crook of his arm. He planted a kiss on her cheek and said, “Happy birthday Daisy-Baby.” He bent down again and pulled Ella into his other arm, making her giggle. 

    “Merly, Daisy is one yew owd today!” She told him, twirling her fingers through his hair.

    “I know, she’s growing up so fast,” he said, carrying both girls over to the patio table. He was greeted by a few familiar faces and some he had never seen. Arthur was the first to jump up from his seat.

    “Merlin, good to see you,” he said with a grin that nearly matched his niece’s. It made Merlin’s heart flutter a bit. 

    “You too, Arthur,” Merlin replied, passing Ella over to him. Daisy had a firm grip on his shirt, so he kept her warm little body in his arms. 

    “You remember my father, Uther,” Arthur was saying, nodding toward the distinguished older man in the seat next to his. 

    “Yes, Uther, it’s good to see you again,” Merlin smiled. Uther stood and shook his hand.

    “I’m glad we get to meet again on a much happier occasion,” Uther told him quietly.

    “I agree,” Merlin smiled down at Daisy, who was playing with the button on his shirt and babbling to herself. 

    “And this is Lance and Gwen,” Arthur moved behind two people on the other side of the table, “my good friends from uni.” Merlin instantly liked these two. Gwen had an open, happy face and a pretty smile, with ringlet curls wound into a loose bun at the top of her head. Lance was rather attractive, tan with dark hair and eyes that seemed to smile on their own. 

    “It’s nice to meet you, Merlin,” Gwen said. Her voice was sweet and soft. Lance reached out a hand, and when Merlin took it, it was strong and warm.

    “It’s good to see you again,” he said. Merlin must have had a look of confusion on his face, because Lance chuckled and told him, “We met briefly at the hospital. I’m a nurse there.”

    “Oh, yes!” Merlin vaguely remembered this man’s face now. Though, to be honest, he had been a bit distracted. He said as much, and Lance waved it off.

    “No worries, emergencies are generally not great times to make friends.”

    Two more adults were sitting at the table, talking quietly amongst themselves. Arthur introduced them as Percy and Elena. Percy was Ella’s godfather, and possibly the tallest man Merlin had ever met. When he spoke, his voice was soft and his smile was a bit shy. He had been one of Leon’s best mates in school, and he thanked Merlin profusely for helping to take such good care of the girls. Percy then introduced Merlin to his wife, Elena, a lovely blonde woman with a wicked laugh and an even more wicked sense of humor. She was the complete opposite of her husband, and Merlin liked her instantly. Their kids were Thomas and Jessie, four year old twins who were currently running around the backyard with Ella. 

    Arthur pulled out a chair for Merlin, which just happened to be right next to his. Merlin sat with Daisy in his lap, because for some reason she didn’t want to leave him just yet. Arthur explained that they were just waiting for Gwaine to arrive before they had lunch, which had been catered by a fancy cafe in town. Everything had been specially prepared without nuts or peanuts, as to not cross-contaminate with anything Daisy would be eating. The Pendragon kitchen had undergone a complete overhaul in the past few weeks, and they tossed everything that had peanuts or traces of peanuts or were produced where peanuts were used. Daisy had yet to have another allergic reaction, and they wanted to keep it that way as long as possible.

    It was a lovely sunny day, and Merlin sat under the cover of the large table umbrella making pleasant conversation with Arthur’s friends and family. They were not what he was expecting, somehow, not that he was sure what he was expecting to begin with. Uther was less stiff and formal than Merlin thought he would be given all of Arthur’s stories, smiling and talking with Gwen, whom he had known for many years. Merlin learned that she was a graphic designer, and she was showing Uther some of her latest projects on her phone. Lance, Percy and Elena had struck up a conversation about football, having discovered they rooted for the same team, and Merlin could see a few friendship developing there. Ella and the twins were sitting on the concrete a few feet away, drawing figures with chalk and chatting away as only children can. 

    “She’s so comfortable with you,” Arthur leaned over and smoothed down Daisy’s silky hair. 

    “She’s just a good baby,” Merlin countered, smiling down at the infant in question. She was just watching the world, taking in everything around her from her spot on Merlin’s lap. Her fist was wrapped firmly around his index finger. 

    “It’s more than that, though. She loves you.” Arthur was looking at him with an expression that he couldn’t quite place. It was fond, but also...wistful. Before Merlin could ask, a figure appeared at the threshold of the back door.

    “Gwaine!” 


	7. Gwaine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwaine turns his charms on Merlin, and Arthur doesn't know how to deal with his emotions.

     Merlin had never been so sure that he was gay as in the moment he first laid eyes on Gwaine Green. He stood in the threshold of the patio door with a motorcycle helmet in hand, shaking his hair out with his fingers. He wore a leather jacket with a black tee underneath, and ripped denim that rode low on his hips. An upward stretch revealed a trail of dark hair and the top of a tattoo that Merlin couldn't quite make out. Was it a heart? A flower? He didn't get a chance to ponder much more, because then the man was heading toward him with a twinkle in his dark eyes.

    “There's my goddaughter!” He sauntered over, giving Arthur a friendly slap in the shoulder in the process. He dropped unceremoniously into the chair to Merlin's right. “You must be Merlin,” he asserted, holding a hand out. Merlin took it with a nod. “I've heard a lot about you, and what good care you take of these little ladies. It means a lot,” Gwaine said sincerely. Merlin smiled and passed Daisy over to the man. Gwaine lifted her high in the air before pulling her in for a cuddle. She squealed and began grabbing at Gwaine’s beard. “It's lovely to see you, too, darlin’.”

    Merlin was just about to say something (probably) stupid when Ella flew in to show him a collection of rocks, Thomas and Jessie in tow. He had been teaching Ella some basic geology over the last week, and now she wanted him to teach her friends, too. As he was explaining igneous rocks to them, Gwaine rose with Daisy and moved to where Percy and Elena were chatting with Lance and Gwen. Merlin tried, he really did. He tried not to notice how great Gwaine's arse looked as he walked. But the man’s arse was a thing of beauty, firm and just the right roundness...wow. _Really, Merlin?_ He internally rolled his eyes at himself. _You never think of people like that, and now you’re turning into a horny teenager?_ He must have been staring, because Ella impatiently shook his arm.

    “Sorry, sorry,” he apologized, clearing his throat. Arthur quirked an eyebrow at him, shooting him a knowing look. Instead of chastising him for leering at his niece’s godfather, Arthur just stood and announced it was time for lunch.

    After everyone piled their plates with sandwiches and fruit and veg, they all returned to the patio to eat lunch. Daisy’s high chair had been pulled out and set beside Arthur’s chair, and he took turns eating and helping her feed herself. The conversation was lively, centered of course around the birthday girl and the Pendragon family in general. Everyone had such fond memories of Daisy’s first days of life, of meeting her for the first time, of how much she looked like Morgana (though Percy thought she quite took after Leon). Daisy loved the attention, for once not being overshadowed by her rambunctious sister. She loved the smiles and the kisses and having people talk to her, even if she couldn’t understand or talk back.

    The atmosphere was pretty relaxed. There was no set schedule, no specific timeline for events. After lunch was cleared away, everyone drifted off in groups. Lance, Percy, Gwaine, and Arthur found a football and started kicking it about in the spacious backyard. Uther, Gwen and Elena had retired to some lawn chairs to soak up some sun. Merlin wasn’t sure what they were chatting about, but it seemed easy and light-hearted.

    In the process of figuring out where he should go, he once again found himself surrounded by children. He wondered if they could sense he was meant to be a teacher, or if they just found him amusing. Either way, they seemed content to follow him wherever he went, telling him about this and that and asking all manner of questions. It felt nice, he decided. It was almost like being a teacher, something that he missed despite how much he enjoyed his current job. So he took it upon himself to keep the kids entertained, leading them to a quiet spot under a shady tree. He set a blanket down and plopped Daisy on top of it with a few of her toys before sitting cross-legged beside her. Ella, Jessie, and Thomas all sat facing him, eager to see what he would do next.

-     -     -     -     -

    “Your nanny is extremely popular,” Gwaine said during a break in their little game. He nodded toward a corner of the yard and Arthur turned to see Merlin sitting on the grass, surrounded by kids. He had Daisy in his lap, and he was talking animatedly about something or another. Each of the children were watching him with rapt attention. Judging from the rocks that had accumulated before him, Arthur guessed he had been asked to continue his geology lecture from earlier.

    “Yeah, children really love him,” Arthur tried to keep the fondness out of his voice.

    “You never did say how you came to hire him in the first place,” Gwaine said. He brushed some hair from his face and continued to watch Merlin.

    “I’m curious as well, I’ve never seen a male nanny,” Percy spoke up. Arthur sighed.

    “He was the best candidate for the job, and the girls loved him from the start,” he explained simply. “He has the qualifications to become a primary school teacher, but he just couldn’t find a job right out of school. To be honest, I’m quite glad he couldn’t. He’s been an incredibly important part of our lives.”

    “I could tell the moment he arrived. The girls practically ran to him, and Daisy can’t even walk yet!” Percy smiled at the memory. He turned to Arthur and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad you found the help you need. You’re doing a great job, Arthur. Leon and Morgana would be proud of you.” Arthur swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded a quiet thanks. Percy passed him the football and he and Lance went to sit with their wives.

    “He’s a looker, ain’t he?”

    “Gwaine!”

    “Well, it’s true!” Gwaine’s eyes never left Merlin. “He’s got a sort of twink thing going on that’s really working for me.”

    “Everything works for you,” Arthur said with a roll of his eyes.

    “What can I say? I just enjoy the male form. And your nanny has a spectacular one.” Gwaine turned at just the right moment to catch an odd look in Arthur’s eye. He smirked. “You fancy him?”

    “What? He’s my employee,” Arthur frowned.

    “Who is also gorgeous. And cooks. And who adores your children as much as they do him.”

    “It’s... complicated. I don’t even know if he’s into men.” Arthur sighed, feeling his face heat up. Gwaine studied him for a moment. Arthur didn’t know Gwaine extremely well, though the two had been in the same friend circle for several years. The man had always rubbed Arthur the wrong way, though he just couldn't put his finger on why. But he knew the man long enough to know that look, to know that he was planning something.

    “Then you won’t mind it if I take a stab at it?”

    “Why would I mind?”

    “That’s the spirit!”

    With a slap of Arthur’s shoulder, Gwaine wandered toward the gathering of children. He was using his “sexy” walk, the one where he leads with his hips and flips his hair over his shoulder. And damn it, it appeared to be working. Merlin had glanced up when he noticed a figure moving in closer, and now his eyes were climbing Gwaine’s body. The Irishman settled onto the grass beside Ella, who leaned against him as she listened to Merlin’s lecture. Arthur sighed and moved to where the other adults were sitting in the sun. He grabbed his drink and sunk into a chair beside his father.

    “What’s wrong, Arthur?” Uther asked quietly. Arthur realized he was biting his lip, a tale-tell sign that he was thinking hard about something.

    “Nothing, everything’s fine.”

    “It’s the boy, isn’t it?” Arthur nearly choked on his lemon water. “Come now, Arthur. It’s obvious that you’re fond of him.”

    “Of course I’m fond of Merlin. I wouldn’t have hired him to care for my children if I wasn’t.”

    “In that case, I’m fond of him to. I think we all are,” Uther glanced around at Arthur’s friends. “I think you know what I mean, though, son.”

    “I just…” Arthur sighed. There was no use lying or hiding. His father had a way of seeing right through him. “I think there’s something there. For me. Maybe for him. But he works for me. I pay him to tend to my children and clean my home and buy my groceries. It just wouldn't be appropriate, would it?”

    “That's up to you. But I do think that if you don't figure it out soon, Gwaine will do it for you.” Uther nodded to where Gwaine was now chatting up Merlin with Daisy on his hip. The rest of the children had dispersed, leaving the two men to speak one-on-one. Gwaine was giving Merlin his best “love me” grin, and Merlin’s adorable ears were turning red. He wasn’t brushing Gwaine off, however, so the only assumption was that he was enjoying the attention. Irritation flared in the pit of Arthur's stomach.

    “Cake time!” He called, successfully pulling Merlin's attention away from Gwaine. Beside him, Uther was chuckling to himself.

    An hour later, Merlin was helping Arthur bathe the girls in the upstairs bathroom. Daisy had had great fun playing in her smash cake, and had managed to cover herself in lavender frosting. They put Ella in with her for good measure, even though she didn’t get nearly as messy as her sister. Arthur had tried to convince Merlin that he didn’t need to stay and help clean up, and Merlin eventually convinced Arthur that he really didn’t mind, and that he wanted to stay and help. They were knelt in front of the bath together, the girls having been thoroughly cleaned and now permitted to play with their bath toys for a bit.

    “I see you got along with Gwaine quite well,” Arthur couldn’t help himself. He hated the blush that graced Merlin’s cheeks. He wanted that for himself, not for Gwaine.

    “He’s really nice, yeah,” the younger man admitted. “He asked me out.” Arthur’s eyebrows shot up. That escalated quickly.

    “Really?”

    “Yeah, we have a date next Saturday night.”

    “That soon?”

    “It’s nothing too serious,” Merlin was quick to note. “It’s been a while since I’ve dated anyone. I don’t have much experience dating men, if I’m honest.”

    “Do you usually date women?” Arthur found himself asking before he could stop. Merlin scrunched his face up.

    “Oh, no, I am one hundred percent gay,” Merlin laughed. “I just haven’t dated much.”

    “Well, if it’s experience you’re after, I suppose Gwaine is the man for you.”

    “How do you mean?”

    “I’ve known Gwaine a while now, and he’s always been interested in living in the moment and trying new things.”

    “Like?” Merlin’s eyes were wide.

    “Like hot yoga. Or threesomes.” Arthur watched as Merlin’s pink-tinged cheeks burned red. Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say after all.

    “Oh,” was all Merlin said in response. He turned back to the tub with a slight frown on his face.

    Arthur mentally slapped himself. _Why are you acting like a jerk?_ He asked himself. _Can’t you see you’ve upset him?_

    “I don’t think you should let that deter you from going on your date with Gwaine,” he finally spoke. “He is a good guy, if a bit more eccentric than most.”

    Merlin looked up at him. He was quiet for a moment, searching for something in Arthur’s eyes. He must have found what he was looking for, because he lit up with a smile. He turned back to the girls and Arthur stood to gather towels, hoping Merlin wouldn’t see the disappointment on his face.


	8. Green Eyed Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin struggles with his sexuality. Arthur drives him crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short chapter this time. I'll admit that this isn't how I planned the story to go originally, but the more I wrote, the more it just felt right.

The week that followed Daisy’s birthday party dragged on and on. Merlin and Gwaine had exchanged numbers and began texting back and forth. It was just simple things at first, like what they did for fun, and their favorite movies. But it wasn’t long before their messages became more flirty, and sometimes even sexual in nature. Merlin found himself swiftly drifting away from his comfort zone, and he really didn’t know what he was doing, or what to do about it.

    He had always known that he was a little different, and “gay” simply wasn’t enough to explain it. It wasn’t until university that he really even had a word for it. He had been required to take a human sexuality course during his first year, and that was where he discovered the term “asexual”. It had stuck with him, and he immediately began researching it further. It all made sense to him - finally, he had words he could use to describe himself. When he emerged from the rabbit hole he had fallen into, he proudly told his best friend Will that he was a homo-romantic grey-asexual. Will had promptly said “huh?”, and Merlin had to explain that he felt romantic and aesthetic attraction toward men, but rarely felt any kind of sexual attraction. In his entire life, the only time he had felt any kind of sexual attraction toward someone was when he had developed a bond with them first. 

    That’s not to say that he never felt sexual desire. He did, and he had no problems dealing with it himself. And sometimes, once in a blue moon, he would see someone and have a sudden flash of said desire. Like when he laid eyes on Gwaine for the first time and it felt like his hormones revved their engines. It just didn’t happen often, and it didn’t last very long. He still found Gwaine aesthetically pleasing, and there was something about the Irishman that made Merlin feel funny in his gut. But it wasn’t the same way he felt about Arthur. And now, every time he saw a new message from Gwaine, his mind was filled with the image of Arthur, with that odd look on his face. And every time he sent a new message to Gwaine, he felt guilty somehow. Like he was leading everyone on, including himself. 

    As the week wore on, Arthur became more and more distant. The friendliness and the relaxed demeanor he had the previous week had disappeared overnight, and they were right back to where they had started their relationship. That only added to the guilt Merlin felt, because he was sure it all had to do with his budding relationship with Gwaine Green. He was torn, he really was. He wanted what he had with Arthur back. He wanted them to become friends, even if he never got to share his true feelings with the man. But he also liked Gwaine, and he wanted to get out of his shell and live a little. He really wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. And when he asked his friends, he found they offered little help. 

    “What does your heart tell you?” Mordred had prompted him with stars in his eyes. He was too much of a romantic to offer any real, sound advice.

    “I say forget both of them. You don’t want to get involved in drama like that, mate,” Will had grumbled, before downing the last of his beer in one gulp. Merlin wasn’t sure why he ever asked Will’s opinion on this kind of stuff - he hated most people.

    His elderly uncle, Gaius, who Merlin had always been very comfortable sharing things with, had simply raised his eyebrows at him. That wasn’t necessarily a good sign. 

    Friday was the worst day of the week. Not only was Merlin already feeling nervous about the date the following evening, but Arthur had barely spoken to him. Not that he had been angry or stern, but he had said only what he needed to before heading out the door. No “good to see you, Merlin,” no “just text me if you need anything,”. 

    That day was particularly challenging. The girls were due in for their annual check-ups at their pediatrician, with Daisy needing her one-year vaccinations. Normally Arthur would have shifted his schedule around to take them himself, but he had a meeting at work that he just couldn't miss. So he had taken steps to authorize Merlin to go in his stead. Which meant getting both girls ready and packed into the SUV Arthur provided for his use (which always kind of stressed Merlin out, because he wasn't really used to driving). The drive took twenty minutes, during which Ella protested the whole way about not wanting to see the doctor. Merlin had to bribe her with making her favorite lunch, cheesy noodles with chicken and broccoli, if she behaved herself.

    Much to Merlin's relief, she did. Even poor little Daisy was quiet, up until it was time for her shots. He held her in his lap as the doctor, a kindly white-haired man, did his best to distract her. He left the doctor's office with a bubbly Ella, who had been given some stickers, and a whimpering Daisy on his shoulder. Thankfully, the baby fell asleep on the drive home, and Merlin was able to make Ella lunch and get some chores done before Daisy woke up fussy again. After that, all she wanted was to be held and cuddled. He managed to get Ella to watch a movie so he could just sit and sooth Daisy and feed her a bottle and rock her through her discomfort. He thought about texting Arthur, but he remembered that the man had a super important meeting today. And besides, it wasn’t anything that he couldn’t handle on his own. 

    Needless to say, by the end of the day Merlin was a stressed, exhausted mess. As much as he loved Ella and Daisy, all he wanted was to go home and drop into bed and sleep for an entire day. When Arthur arrived home Merlin gave him a hasty run-down of the day's events and hurried to the door. 

    “Do you still have your date with Gwaine tomorrow?” Arthur asked abruptly. Merlin released his hold on the doorknob and turned. 

    “He’s picking me up at 7,” Merlin told him.

    “Just...be careful, Merlin.” 

    “Why?”

    “Because he’s been around the block once or twice,” Arthur shrugged.

    “What is that supposed to mean?”

    “It’s just that he’s a bit older than you, and he’s not exactly one to settle down.” Merlin felt his face burn. He didn’t anger easily, but he was tired and this was starting to get on his last nerve.

    “And you think that I can’t handle myself?”

    “I didn’t say that-” Arthur took a step closer, and Merlin backed away.

    “No, that’s just what you implied,” Merlin shot back. “I’m so young and innocent that I won’t be able to take care of myself.”

    “Merlin-”

     "i'm not a child, Arthur, and I don't appreciate being treated like one."

     "That's not what I'm saying!" 

     “Then what are you saying?"

     "He's just more experienced than you, and he's used to guys who are more...more..."

     "More what? Attractive? Interesting? You think that I'm not up to his usual standards?"

     "No, Merlin!” Arthur’s shout had attracted attention - Ella had wandered into the room when she heard raised voices, and was now staring between them with wide eyes.

    “I have to go,” Merlin heaved his backpack over his shoulder and left without a second look back. He was shaking as he climbed into his bike and rode down the street.

-     -     -     -     -

    Merlin hardly slept Friday night. He tossed and turned and had dreams about Arthur firing him. At one point he sat up in bed at 2 a.m. and debated whether he should text Arthur to apologize. In the end, he settled back into sleep, uneasy and unable to fully rest.

    Saturday was dreary and wet, and he spent much of the day moping around his little flat. He ignored a call from Gaius and a text from Will, not wanting to hear anymore of their thoughts on his love life (or serious lack thereof). He almost called Gwaine to cancel their date, but thought better of it. He wanted this, didn't he? He wanted to ge out there and meet people, right? If he was really, truly, brutally honest with himself, it was Arthur he really wanted. But that would never happen, no matter how many times Arthur looked at him that way...so he would have to just push it aside and move on.

    Gwaine arrived at 7 p.m. as promised, looking like a model. Merlin felt like a nerd compared to him, his jeans and brown jacket bland compared to Gwaine's black denim and leather jacket. Gwaine didn't seem to mind, and he walked close to Merlin as they headed to dinner, hands brushing together on occasion. 

    By the time they ended up at a chic little cafe a few blocks from Merlin's place, Merlin was feeling a little bit better. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all?


	9. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Merlin's date with Gwaine doesn't go as expected, Arthur is there to comfort him. Confessions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of non-consensual groping
> 
> Also: it's going to get happier from here, I promise!

     Arthur decided to go to bed early on Saturday evening. He had been distracted all day, knowing that Merlin would be going out with Gwaine. Not that he didn’t trust Gwaine. The man was Daisy’s godfather, and despite not always being around physically, he was certainly affectionate and supportive of Arthur and his little family. The man was simply a wild card, someone who would blow into town for a few days before heading to Australia or Germany or some other foreign place to do whatever it was that he did (usually photography, but that was neither here nor there). When they had all been in university, Gwaine had been the party boy who loved hooking up and breaking hearts, and that never really changed. To say Arthur was concerned for Merlin was an understatement - he knew Gwaine wouldn’t actually hurt Merlin, but who knew what kind of crap he would pull? Merlin was young and hopeful and Arthur just didn’t want to watch him become the next casualty in Gwaine’s wake. Needless to say, Arthur had given himself a headache worrying, and he just wanted to forget about it for a while.

    Arthur was just closing up the house for the night when he heard a knock on the front door. It got more and more persistent, and he hurried across the foyer. One look through the peephole had him swinging the door open as fast as he could.

    “Merlin!” 

    The younger man stood with his fist raised, ready to knock again. He was flushed and shaking, and his clothes and hair were wet from a recent downpour. His old bike was nowhere in sight.

    “Sorry to disturb you so late,” he said, voice wavering.

    “Don't be sorry,” Arthur moved aside and waved him in. “Come in.” Merlin stepped over the threshold and Arthur shut and locked the door behind him. He helped Merlin out of his jacket before leading him into the living room, grabbing a blanket from the basket and wrapping it around Merlin’s shoulders. Merlin sat heavily onto the sofa, Arthur taking the seat next to him.

    “What happened, Merlin?” 

    “I, um,” Merlin swallowed hard. Arthur now took in Merlin's countenance and was alarmed - his eyes were red and there were tear-tracks down his cheeks. “You were right.”

    “About?”

    “Gwaine.” Arthur sat up straighter.

    “What did he do?”

    “Nothing, really,” Merlin sighed. “It wasn't his fault. When he asked me out, I thought he meant for an actual date. Like, ‘let's get to know each other over dinner’.” He looked up at Arthur and blushed deeper. “He meant more of a ‘let's get drunk and hook up’ kind of thing.”

    “Did he hurt you?” 

    “No! Nothing like that, it's just...I don't know. It's probably pathetic.”

    “Merlin?”

    “He said he would walk me home, but then he pushed me into the alley behind the cafe and started kissing me. I did kind of like it at first, but then he started touching me. I didn't know how to say no, you know?"

    “What did he do?” 

    “He groped me a bit, put his hand down my trousers,” Merlin glanced down at his hands. “Maybe I gave him the wrong idea? I was a bit...well,  _ you know _ .” His blush was back in full force. “He got on his knees and had my trousers open before I could stop him.”

    “What did you do?” Arthur had to work hard to keep his voice even, though all he wanted was to run out and find Gwaine himself.

    “I apologized, zipped back up and ran here.”

    “I'm so sorry, Merlin,” Arthur frowned, longing to reach out and comfort the man.

    “It's not your fault. You tried to warn me, and I wouldn't listen.”

    “That doesn't make what Gwaine did okay. He should never he have ever touched you without your permission. I had no idea that he would try that on you.”

    “I just feel stupid. I should have been able to say no. Maybe if I wasn't…” Merlin frowned and shifted his eyes away. 

    “Wasn’t what?”

    “I-I’m asexual,” Merlin admitted, glaring at the floor. “I’ve never had sex, or really done anything besides kissing before. It’s rare that I even think about it, and I just don’t know how to respond. And it just felt so wrong when he touched me, even if I think part of me wanted him to.”

    “It was a violation of your body and your personal space. Anyone would feel uncomfortable.”

    “I suppose,” Merlin shrunk back against the sofa and sighed. “I still feel stupid.”

    “Please don’t. You did nothing wrong.”

    “Except being born this way,” came the bitter whisper. Merlin had turned his face away, and Arthur could see how his shoulders were trembling again.

    “Hey, hey,” Arthur took Merlin’s hand. “What do you mean by that?” Merlin sniffed. 

    “It’s never really bothered me, being the way I am,” he said. “But lately...I just feel  _ so lonely. _ It’s like there’s some secret that everyone else understands but me. Everyone I’ve ever dated or been out with leaves as soon as they find out. No one wants to waste their time with someone who may never be able to give them what they want. And even when someone does try, like Gwaine, it just doesn’t  _ work  _ for me. It’s like I’m a freak or something.”

    “Don’t say that, Merlin,” Arthur frowned. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

    “Isn’t there?” Merlin turned tear-filled eyes on him. Arthur hated the sadness and the frustration he saw there. He brought his hand up and cupped Merlin’s cheek, stroking gently. Merlin’s eyes widened. 

    “No, Merlin. You are not a freak. You are perfect, just the way you are, and anyone who can’t see that is an idiot.”

    “Oh, please-”

    “You are perfect to  _ me, _ Merlin Emrys.”

    “What? What are you saying?” Merlin was eyeing him with disbelief. 

    “That I’m falling for you, Merlin. God help me, I  _ have _ fallen for you. I can’t keep it to myself any longer, even if it means you’ll want to leave us and never come back. You have to know how much I care about you.” Arthur shut his mouth and swallowed hard. He was shaking, he could feel it in his hands and his stomach and his face. Had he really been so scared of saying it out loud? 

    “Even if I never had the desire to be physical with you? If you never had sex with me?” Merlin’s voice was small and hesitant.

    “Even if you never even wanted to kiss me.” 

    “Could you really, truly live with that? Honestly?” Arthur took in the doubt in Merlin’s eyes and felt like maybe he had just a taste of the rejection he had received over the years. That something as small and simple as a kiss could be a source of so much anxiety.

    “I really, truly could,” Arthur said. He dropped his hand, though Merlin’s went with it. He smiled down at their now-entwining fingers. “But I will leave that all entirely up to you.”

    “Thank you,” Merlin smiled shyly. “Since we’re being all open and honest...I have feelings for you, too, Arthur. It’s rare that I even get crushes on people, but I was crushing on you since the first day we met.” The blush had taken up permanent residence on his face, it seemed. “I just…I don’t know…”

    “Don’t know what?” Arthur smiled softly and squeezed his hand. Merlin squeezed back and bit his lip.

    “I’ve never really been in a real relationship before. I don’t really know what I’ll be like in a relationship.”

    “That doesn’t matter to me. I’ll take you in any form you want to give me. But we can talk about that another time” Arthur stood and held out his hand “I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.”

    “That’s an understatement,” Merlin sagged a bit, eyes heavy with the events of the day.

    “You know you’re welcome to stay,” Arthur reminded him.

    “I've already imposed enough-”

    “Nonsense. It's late and it's pouring outside. The guest room is all yours.”

    “Thanks, Arthur,” Merlin smiled shyly. “For everything.”


	10. First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Grandpa Uther takes the girls for the day, Arthur and Merlin suddenly find themselves with time alone. What will they get up to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: 'eggy bread' is what we call 'French toast' in the U.S. Learned that writing this chapter. Go figure. 
> 
> Also, they kiss! they kiss they kiss they kiss they kiss! I've been dying to write that for AGES

    When Merlin woke the next morning, he could not contain his smile: he was in Arthur's home, in Arthur's guest bed, in Arthur's  _ pajamas _ . After Merlin had accepted the offer to stay the night, Arthur had whisked him upstairs and found a pair of sleep trousers and a soft tee-shirt, taking Merlin's rain-soaked clothes down to the laundry room. He would throw them in with a load later, and they would be clean and dry by the time he left. In the meantime, he would cuddle into the warm, soft clothing that was too big but smelled like Arthur and set butterflies a-flight in his stomach. He checked the clock on the bedside table - almost 6:00 a.m. The girls would be waking soon, and no doubt Arthur would be dragged into consciousness with them. Merlin had a short window of time to act, and he was going to take it.

    He climbed out of the warm, cozy cocoon he had created overnight and took a moment to make himself somewhat presentable in the bathroom. Heading down the hall he passed by Arthur’s door, which was always left open enough to allow him to hear his girls. The man was on his stomach, face smooshed against his pillow as he slept. Merlin smiled fondly and moved on. He found Daisy sleeping the exact same way, her little diapered rump sticking up in the air. Ella was star-fished in her bed, hair every which way. He slipped downstairs and into the kitchen, attempting to make as little noise as possible as he started breakfast. 

    Arthur would probably scold him, and remind him that he was a guest and that he didn’t have to do anything while he wasn’t working. But he wanted to. And it wasn’t like last time, when he felt indebted to Arthur for letting him stay when his flat was being fixed. He had felt like an imposition, and he had wanted to make it up to Arthur somehow. Now, he just wanted to do something nice for the Pendragon family because he loved them. And the only way he could think to do that at that moment was to make breakfast.

    By the time Arthur came downstairs with Daisy in his arms, Ella hot on his heels, Merlin had everything set. There was a stack of eggy bread, a bowl of fruit salad, and scrambled eggs the way Ella liked them. The girls gave a cheer when they saw him, Ella demanding “huggies” and Daisy grabbing for him until he took her into his arms. While the girls were otherwise distracted, Arthur leaned in to press a chaste kiss on Merlin’s temple. Something Merlin wasn’t familiar with bloomed in his chest, and he took a seat at the table feeling slightly light-headed. The feeling lasted through breakfast and after, when Merlin led the girls upstairs to get ready for the day while Arthur cleaned up the kitchen. 

    He changed Daisy’s diaper and dressed her in denim leggings and a tunic before carrying her into Ella’s room. While Daisy played with a stuffed giraffe, Ella picked out her favorite dress and Merlin pulled her hair into a ponytail. 

    “Good news!” Arthur announced, entering the room as Merlin was securing the bow around Daisy’s head. “Grandpa’s coming to take the girls for the day!” Ella danced around the room with excitement, helping Daisy to her feet and dancing with her. 

    “That’s nice of your father,” Merlin commented. 

    “He’s been wanting to take them for a while, spoil them the way he knows I don’t like. But I felt like today was an especially good day.” Arthur shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’m going to have all this time on my hands now. Whatever will I do with it?” 

    “That’s a very good question.”

-     -     -     -     -

    “Are you really sure you want to do this?”

    “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

    “I don’t know, it just...it probably won’t be what you’re expecting.”

    “In what way?”

    “It’s just really  _ small _ , and it’s not very impressive, and-”

    “Just open the door, Merlin.”

    With a sigh, Merlin unlocked his front door and led Arthur into his flat. When Uther had arrived and announced he was going to keep the girls overnight to give Arthur a break, Arthur had suggested that they have their own special outing. Merlin had not expected this to be it. 

    “Sorry the place is a bit of a mess, I haven’t tidied up in while,” Merlin scratched the back of his neck, glancing around the living room. Not that he had much by way of possessions to begin with. 

    “Stop worrying,” Arthur smiled and walked around. He took in the sagging sofa, the old coffee table, the dinged up table and chairs in the kitchen. “I like it.”

    “Really?”

    “It’s homey,” Arthur shrugged, settling onto the sofa. 

    “It’s tiny and filled with poor student furniture.” Merlin sat beside him, trying not to blush at their sudden proximity.

    “It’s your home,” Arthur smiled. “I like it.”

    “Thanks. What would you like to do now?” 

    “What do you usually do when you have a whole day free?”

    “It might bore you.”

    “Try me.”

    And that was how they ended up watching a Sherlock marathon, eating Chinese take out straight from the cartons and playing ‘paper, scissors, rock’ for the last dumpling. As the last episode’s credits rolled, Merlin broke out some beers and they sat chatting for hours. They talked about everything; about their favorite movies and their childhoods and where they would go on vacation. Merlin told Arthur about his crazy friends, and Arthur shared his secret dream of becoming a veterinarian, and they laughed about their various adventures in caring for Daisy and Ella. It was just so  _ easy _ , Merlin found, and he never wanted to stop.

    “Can I ask you a question?” Arthur murmured after a moment of silence. “About your asexuality?” Merlin nodded, taking the hand Arthur held out. 

    “You can ask me anything.”

    “When did you first know?” Merlin paused a moment.

    “I think I’ve always known that there was something different about me. I thought it was just the fact that I was interested in the boys at school instead of the girls, but even after coming out as gay, it didn’t quite fit, you know?” Arthur nodded. “I had to take a Human Sexuality course in uni, and that’s where I first heard the term ‘asexual’. I did some digging, and it all just fell into place.”

    “So what does it mean for you?”

    “Well like anything, asexuality is really a spectrum. I consider myself ‘grey asexual’, or some people call it ‘demisexual’. Basically, I rarely feel any kind of sexual attraction to people. It’s only happened a few times in my life, and only after I’ve become close to that person.”

    “Do you ever...you know... _ want _ sex, even if you don’t think of people like that?” Merlin had to think about it. He’d never really given it much attention.

    “I don’t  _ crave  _ it, if that’s what you mean. I do get aroused sometimes, and I do feel pleasure,” Merlin’s face burned with embarrassment, but Arthur never stopped watching him with those open, accepting eyes. “But the idea of having sex is just so odd to me. I suppose I might do it if it was with someone I loved, but I don’t  _ need _ it the way other people do.”

    “Do you think people are attractive? Like, do you see a good-looking guy and know he’s good-looking?”

    “Of course,” Merlin shrugged. “I am aesthetically attracted to man, that just doesn’t turn into a sexual thing. I can appreciate a beautiful face, or a well-shaped body, but I don’t want to do anything beyond appreciate it.”

    “Hmmm,” Arthur’s brows wrinkled in curiosity, obviously trying to understand this new concept for himself. He looked adorable.

    “For the record, you’re very attractive.” It was Arthur’s turn to blush.

    “So are you,” he said simply. They smiled at each other. Merlin hadn’t realized they had moved so close; their thighs were pressed together, and Merlin could feel the heat through his jeans. And when had Arthur’s face gotten so close to his? And when had Merlin decided he was okay with it? Because he really, really was.

    “You said you feel pleasure…” Arthur quirked an eyebrow. “What sorts of things give you pleasure?” His fingers were drawing shapes along the palm of Merlin’s hand.

    “You really want to know?” Merlin’s breath hitched. Arthur nodded, eyes boring into his. 

    “That feels good,” Merlin nodded to where Arthur's fingers had caused goosebumps to erupt. “Being close to someone else, feeling their warmth and the pressure of their body.”

    “Like this?” Arthur snuggled closer.

    “Yes,” Merlin breathed. “Kissing feels good, too.”

    “That's good to know. Merlin?”

    “Mmmm?”

    “Can I kiss you?”

    “ _ Please _ .”

    Arthur let go of Merlin's hand and turned so they were face to face. He reached up and thumbed Merlin’s lower lip, eyes never leaving the pouty mouth. Just a few more inches and...he...would...just…

    Merlin hadn’t kissed many people in his life. He hadn’t wanted to. But he had wanted to kiss Arthur Pendragon since their first meeting, had imagined what it would be like, what it would feel like. Would Arthur’s lips be as soft as they looked? Would he kiss softly, or firmly? Would their noses bump together? He didn’t have to imagine anymore, because Arthur was there and he was kissing Merlin with a tenderness that nearly brought tears to Merlin’s eyes. He must have made a noise, because Arthur pulled away.

    “Is this okay?” He asked, concern clear in his eyes.

    “It’s perfect,” Merlin assured him. Just to prove it, he leaned back in and claimed Arthur’s mouth once more. His arms snuck around Arthur’s neck and let himself be pulled closer. He could feel the  _ thump, thump, thump _ of Arthur’s heart against his own chest, and the warmth of Arthur’s hands on his back.

    When they pulled apart again they were desperate for air and more than a little sloppy with saliva. Merlin was blushing from ear to ear and everywhere in between. 

    “So kissing is good?” Arthur asked, brushing a stray lock from Merlin's eyes. 

    “Kissing is very good,” Merlin nodded. 

    “That's good to know.”

    “Arthur?”

    “Yes?”

    “I know this is all a bit new but...would you like to stay the night?”


	11. Biting The Bullet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise from the girls push Arthur and Merlin to share the news of their relationship with their family and friends.

    Arthur and Merlin decided to keep their budding relationship quiet for a while; in the early stages they were still figuring everything out, and they didn’t feel like having other people sticking their nose in their business just yet. So Merlin continued to arrive for work every day at 8 a.m., continued to feed and bathe and teach the girls like he always had. And after Arthur had arrived home from work each day and given ‘huggies and kissies’ to Ella and Daisy, he pulled Merlin aside to sneak him a few smooches of his own. Slowly but surely Merlin started staying for dinner more and more often, lingering to help put the girls to bed and steal a few moments of solitude with Arthur. Sometimes they would watch a film or have a drink and just sit and talk about anything and everything. And sometimes they would end up wound up in each other's arms, discovering all the things felt good. As their luck would have it, Uther started asking to babysit his granddaughters more often, sometimes even taking them for the night. Arthur would take advantage of this respite and take Merlin out on real dates to the cinema or to dinner or romantic moonlit walks in their favorite park. 

    Merlin hadn’t realized just how much time he had been spending at the Pendragon home until some four months into his and Arthur’s romance. He had arrived bright and early on a Saturday morning, ready for a day at the aquarium with Arthur and the girls. He let himself in with the key Arthur had presented him with just last week and was immediately met with Ella bursting into the foyer to greet him. As he gave her a hug that lifted her off her feet, he spied Daisy sitting on the kitchen floor watching her uncle make breakfast. She turned at the sound of his voice and pushed herself to her feet with a squeal. She toddled toward him with a big grin on her face.

    “Happy to see me, are you?” Merlin laughed, settling on his knees and holding his hands out to beckon her closer. The toddler made it across the floor in record time, and when she finally reached him Merlin took her into his arms and showered her with kisses. “Good morning, beautiful girl!”

    “Da-da-da,” she babbled, grabbing onto his face. From the corner of his eye, Merlin could see Arthur visibly tense. Did Daisy just try to say what he thought?

    “No, Daisy,” Ella scolded, “we already have Daddy.” She skipped a circle around Merlin and chirped, “Can you say pa-pa?” 

    “Pa-pa-pa,” Daisy mimicked, lunging forward to plant a sloppy kiss on his cheek. “Pa-pa-pa…”

    “Oh dear,” Merlin sighed, looking down at Ella, who was beaming right back at him. 

    “Well, this changes things.” Arthur watched them, eyes unreadable. 

-     -     -     -     -

    Over a breakfast Arthur and Merlin discussed the new development. 

    “Does it bother you?” Merlin asked quietly, nibbling at his toast.

    “Not particularly,” Arthur put more blueberries on Ella’s plate. “I’m still Daddy. Daddy tops Papa. Does it bother you?”

    “...I suppose not,” Merlin murmured.

    “Merlin?” Arthur looked at him sharply.

    “It’s just...it’s nice, okay? I know I shouldn’t like it, but I do,” Merlin blushed. “They call you Daddy because they love you. I guess them calling me Papa means they love me too?” Arthur’s eyes softened.

    “Of course they love you, Merlin. We all love you. In different ways, of course,” he winked. 

    “So, do we let them continue to use that word?” Merlin wiped a glob of porridge from Daisy’s face. “What would that mean for us? For your family?”

    “Quite frankly, Merlin, I’m surprised they haven’t called you something similar sooner. You’re here eight hours a day, five days a week. Even more lately. You discipline them and care for them when they’re sick and give them unconditional love.” Arthur shrugged. “I’m not opposed to letting them call you that, if you’re okay with it. Though I’d understand if you’re not.”

    Merlin was quiet for a while, his food untouched as he sat in contemplation.

    “Do you want me to be? Their Papa, I mean?” He finally spoke, screwing up the courage to look directly at Arthur. The man bit his lip. Merlin could see the wheels turning in his head. Arthur reached across the table and grasped Merlin’s hand, squeezing gently.

    “Yes, Merlin,” he whispered, as if afraid to let anyone else hear. “I would very much like you to be their Papa.”

    “Really?”

    “Really. I know we’ve only been dating for a few months, and I know we're taking it slowly, but I already feel like I’ve known you forever, like you’ve been here forever. I’m not saying we should get married right away, but I would really love for you to become part of this family.”

    “I would like that a lot, Arthur. And I think it’s time we start telling people about us.”

    “I agree,” Arthur gave him a blinding smile.

-     -     -     -     -

    Merlin was a nervous wreck for two solid weeks as he and Arthur talked with their friends and family and explained that they were now dating. He knew he felt secure in his relationship with Arthur, that he truly loved the man, and that despite their short time officially “together”, he knew him well and had sincere feelings that lasted past the infatuation stage. He knew he didn't need to worry about what other people thought, but he wanted them to accept this decision all the same.

    He had wimped out and texted Will, trying to put into as few words as possible how he felt for Arthur. He watched anxiously as Will typed and probably retyped, no doubt penning an essay on why this was a bad idea and that Merlin was an idiot. After what had felt like hours, he got a surprisingly short reply. 

_ You really care about him that much? - W _

_     Yeah, I really do - M _

_     Tell him that if he ever hurts you, he has me to answer to. - W _

_     Noted - M _

    His next step was to break the news to Mordred, his old roommate from uni who he couldn’t stand at first but was now a really good friend. The man had never been anything less than supportive, so he wasn’t really worried. Still, he told him over drinks during their next semi-regular meet-up. He hadn’t been prepared for the squeal, nor Mordred jumping up and running around to Merlin’s side of the table to give him a hug around the neck. Mordred loved love, and he was overjoyed that his friend had fallen in love with someone who accepted him for who he was. 

    Just as he was fretting about how to tell his mother he got a call from the woman herself. She asked if he was free that weekend to come down for tea with Uncle Gaius, and Merlin couldn’t believe his luck.

    “That would be wonderful, mum,” he told her. “There’s something I wanted to discuss with you both anyway.”

    “Sounds ominous,” she joked.  _ If only she knew,  _ he thought to himself.

    It was a bus, an hour train ride and another bus before he was back home in Ealdor, the little village he’d grown up in. His mother still lived there in the same house, still had the same job and the same friends. Uncle Gaius lived about a mile away and frequently visited. Merlin hadn’t been back home in a while, at least not since graduation, and certainly not since starting to work for Arthur. 

    It felt strange now walking up the cobblestone steps to the front door, letting himself in with the key his mother had insisted he keep. The house was quiet; where he was expecting baby babble and excited shrieking, there were none. The living room was clean and simple, and free from toys and blankets and the random bottle. He moved through to the kitchen where he was met with the mouthwatering scent of Hunith’s Famous Lemon Rosemary Scones, bringing back memories of summer days like today - days spent running through the sprinklers and eating ice cream as it melted onto fingers...it put an odd feeling in his chest. 

    Before he had a chance to examine the emotion further, his mother came in from the patio.

    “Merlin! I didn't hear you come in,” she smiled, gathering him into her arms for a tight hug, the kind only Hunith could give. He reveled in it a moment, taking in the familiar smell of her perfume and the weight of her cheek against his. This, at least, still felt like home.

    “I just walked in,” he explained as she pulled away. “Is Gaius here yet?”

    “Oh, no, he called earlier to say that he was feeling under the weather. It'll just be the two of us today.”

_ Phew _ , Merlin thought,  _ dodged a bullet there. _ He loved Gaius dearly, and he had been looking forward to seeing his uncle, but sometimes the old man intimidated him. He had a  _ Look  _ that spoke for him when he was displeased or skeptical and Merlin didn't think he could handle that today.

    “Maybe next time,” Merlin hoped he didn't look too relieved.

    They had tea out on the patio, shielded from the sun by a large umbrella at the table. Hunith had provided a lovely spread of scones, small sandwiches, fresh fruit, and a pot of fragrant earl grey. It had been forever since he'd had a proper tea. 

    “So?” His mother watched him expectantly over her teacup. “You said you had something to share?” 

    “Yes,” Merlin took a breath to steady himself. “I don't really know how to say it, to be honest. You know the family that I care for? The Pendragons?” Hunith nodded. “Well, Arthur- that's the father- he and I kind of fell in love? And now we're dating? And his kids call me Papa? And I think I want to marry him?” He was shaking by the end, unable to meet his mother's eyes in case he found something there he couldn't take.

    “You've been quite the busy bee,” Hunith said slowly. “When did all of this happen?”

    So Merlin launched into the story. He couldn't keep the stupid grin off his face for most of it, especially when he talked about Ella and Daisy. Hunith demanded pictures, and she cooed over his phone as they went through the album of the Pendragon family. She teared up at the newest addition: a photo that he had managed to get of them all together at the park the previous weekend. 

    It was his favorite. The four of them were sat under a shady tree on a sunny day. Ella was on his lap making a silly face for the camera. Daisy was in Arthur's arms, smiling through the fingers in her mouth. And Arthur...he had chosen that exact moment to plant a kiss on Merlin's cheek. Merlin himself was grinning like an idiot in the photo, surrounded by three of the humans he loved most in the world.

    “Does this mean I'm going to be a grandma after all?” Hunith asked hopefully. Merlin laughed.

    “I think so. They could certainly use a grandma.”

    “I want to meet these beautiful little girls,” she said. “And this Arthur fellow.”

    “You should come down some time and I'll introduce you.”

    Hunith agreed to break the news to Gaius herself after Merlin admitted how nervous he had been. After they finished their tea, they moved into the living room to finish catching up. She wanted to hear more about Arthur and the girls and all the adventures they had together, and Merlin found he couldn't stop himself even if he wanted to.

-     -     -     -     -

    “Told you,” Uther chuckled as Daisy tried to feed him a plastic potato. Arthur rolled his eyes.

    “Yes, I recall the conversation.”

    “And what made you finally bite the bullet? Was it Gwaine?” 

    “...More or less…,’ Arthur admitted through his teeth.

    “So how long have you two been sneaking around like lovesick teenagers?”

    “Four months.”

    “Well, I'm pleased that it all worked out. And that you've decided to share it with me,” Uther pressed a kiss to Daisy's nose before handing her back to her father. 

    “Thank you,” Arthur said, “for encouraging me to make a move. I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life.”

    Uther smiled at his son, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. He moved away to help Ella with a puzzle. Arthur sighed and scooped Daisy up; it was her nap time, and as long as Uther was here, Arthur would try and get some shut-eye too. 

    After a much needed nap he called Lance, who put him on speakerphone so Gwen could hear him while she made dinner. He told them about Merlin and had a shock of his life when both Lance and Gwen let out what sounded like a victory whoop.

    “Finally!” Lance laughed. “We’ve been waiting.”

    “Wait, what?” 

    “Yeah, you’re not that subtle, Arthur,” Lance admitted. 

    “Excuse me?” Arthur was getting a headache.

    “Well, you talk about him a lot, don’t you?” Gwen told him, her voice soft and apologetic. “And at Daisy’s birthday you had eyes only for him the whole time.”

    “Was it really that obvious?” 

    “Yes!” Lance and Gwen said in unison. They were really starting to freak him out. But at least they were actually excited for him, and weren’t upset that he didn’t tell them sooner.

    Last on his list was Percy. This phone call was by far the shortest conversation he had about the topic. Percy was a man of few words, and he told Arthur that he was happy for him, and that Merlin was a good man. He proceeded to ask about the girls and work and if the Pendragons would be able to come to the twins’ birthday party the following month. Arthur finished the conversation by asking if Percy would pass on the information to Gwaine the next time they spoke. Arthur wasn’t sure if he could talk to Gwaine himself without giving him a good tongue lashing for how he had treated Merlin. 

-     -     -     -     -

    The very last people that Merlin and Arthur told about their relationship were the two most important people: Ella and Daisy. They gathered the girls up and sat them down and explained (mostly to Ella) that Daddy loved Merlin the way Uncle Lance and Auntie Gwen loved each other. Ella understood it better than they expected, asking if they were getting married. 

    “Maybe one day,” Merlin told her. 

    “Good, cuz I want you to be my Papa!” She came and threw her arms around his neck. “You’ll be the best papa, and Daddy is the best daddy!” 

    “Daisy, what do you think?” Arthur smiled down at the toddler in his lap. She grinned right back and babbled enthusiastically. “I think she agrees with Ella.”

    He watched as Merlin was drowned in love. Ella was showering him with kisses and all the reasons why she was excited for him to be her Papa. Daisy wriggled out of Arthur’s arms and rushed over to Merlin. With his help she climbed up onto his lap and began mimicking her sister. Merlin’s face was an image of joy, eyes scrunched up with the magnitude of his grin. Unable to contain himself any longer, Arthur jumped up and gathered his whole family into his arms. 

    There was no place he’d rather be. 


	12. The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin considers the future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, everyone! Thank you for reading and commenting and being wonderful.

    “I'm not ready for this.”

    “You don't really have a choice.”

    “We can postpone it. We can wait another year!”

    “We really can't.”

    “But-”

    “Arthur... _ no.  _ Ella! It's time to go!”

    Ella Grace Le Fay Knight bounded down the stairs, backpack bouncing behind her. The five-year-old practically launched herself into Arthur's arms, a ball of energy and excitement. 

    “Ready for your first day of school, Ella?” Merlin asked.

    “Yeah!” Ella ran to him and plucked her brand new lunch box from his hand. “This is gonna be the best day ever!”

    “Are you sure you don't want to wait a year?” Arthur offered hopefully. Ella just rolled her eyes at him. She had been doing that more and more, and each time his heart squeezed at how much it reminded him of Morgana.

    “Silly goose! It's time for school!” 

    “That's the spirit, Ella,” Merlin smirked at Arthur, who just frowned. “Let's get going, we don't want you to be late for your first day!”

    He gave Ella a once over and, after determining she had everything she needed, grabbed his keys from the hook by the door. He gave Arthur a quick kiss and pushed Ella toward the front door. 

    “I'll be back in time for you to leave for work,” he assured the blond man. “Daisy's already had breakfast, but she still needs to get dressed for the day!”

_ And so it begins _ , Merlin thought. Early morning drop-offs and afternoon pick-ups every day, packing lunches and setting out clothes every evening. He would admit that he was feeling a bit nervous, and maybe a bit emotional. Ella had grown so much in the few short years he had known her, and now she was starting school. At a red light he glanced in the rear-view mirror and caught her just watching the world go by outside. He couldn't help but remember the first day they met - she had been messy-haired and sleepy from a nap, and still healing from the trauma of losing both parents in a single day. He smiled at the thought of her pulling him up to her room, demanding that she play “dollies” with her. Who knew that day would be the beginning of so much good in his life?

    As it was Ella's very first day of school, Merlin had been allowed to walk her to her class and meet her teacher Miss Janis, an older woman with a kind face and a bright smile. He liked her instantly, and he could tell Ella did too. He introduced himself and was given a brief tour of the classroom and even asked about the curriculum. By the time he left, Ella had already made two new friends and was so busy playing that she barely gave him a second glance. She would be just fine, he decided.

    He was still in a cheerful mood when he pulled into the driveway at home. He had a whole day planned for Daisy, so she didn't feel so left out of all the excitement surrounding Ella's big day. Her nursery class would start the following week, and he fully intended on enjoying all of the time he had left with her before she, too, was gone three days a week. 

    Expecting to see Arthur in the foyer, ready to leave for work as planned, Merlin was confused when he walked into the house to find it silent. No Arthur adjusting his tie or preparing his briefcase. No Daisy playing or watching a movie. He hurried upstairs, concerned that Daisy perhaps had fallen ill. Her room was dark, as was the bathroom. The door to the room Merlin shared with Arthur was open.

    “Arthur?” He called out quietly. Movement from the bed caught his attention. Daisy popped her head up at the sound of his voice.

    “Daddy's sad,” she said simply. She lay back down again, and Merlin could now see that she was nestled in Arthur's arms. 

    His husband was sprawled on his back on the mattress, still wearing the soft jogger trousers and tee that he had on when Merlin had left nearly an hour ago. His business suit hung untouched in the closet.

    “Arthur, are you alright?” Merlin cooed, settling gently on the mattress and pressing a hand to Arthur's forehead. It was cool to the touch. 

    “I'm taking a sick day,” came the reply, quiet and hoarse.

    “Daddy was crying, Papa,” Daisy added helpfully. Her head was on Arthur's chest and she was watching him with concerned eyes. Merlin frowned and climbed into bed beside the blond, sandwiching the three-year-old between them.

    “Were you crying, Arthur?” 

    “I didn't think it would be this hard,” Arthur sighed as he felt Merlin's fingers through his hair. 

    “Ella going to school?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Well, it is kind of a big deal. It's normal to feel emotional when your child meets a new milestone or moves into a new phase of life.”

    “You seem to be handling it just fine,” Arthur looked up at him. Frustration and guilt were naked on his face.

    “Arthur, I nearly started crying as I was driving Ella to school today,” Merlin told him, remembering now his eyes had stung with the memories of his sweet girl. “Why do you think I insisted on taking her? I needed to meet her teacher and see her classroom and find out what emergency protocols are in place.”

    “I thought you were just trying to take the pressure off me,” Arthur shrugged.

    “That too,” Merlin rolled his eyes. “It was mostly for me, though.”

    They lay in silence for a while, the three of them lost in their own thoughts. After all this time, nothing felt better to Merlin than cuddling with his family. To feel Arthur’s solid body beside his, to feel warm breath on his neck. To have the weight of Daisy’s little body snuggled up against them, little fingers wrapped around his. He didn’t know how long he dozed for, but he was brought back to consciousness by gentle kisses on his face. He opened his eyes to see Arthur watching him with unreadable eyes. In Merlin’s experience, that usually meant that his husband was feeling emotional.

    “I love you,” the older man whispered. 

    “I love you too,” Merlin closed his mouth around Arthur’s.

    It became a Daddy-Papa-Daisy day. He and Arthur took Daisy to the zoo, then to get her favorite ice cream for lunch, before coming home and painting to their heart's content (her new favorite pastime). After a well-deserved nap, they watched Daisy’s favorite movie with a snack before climbing into the car to get Ella from school. 

    The look on Ella’s face when she saw her Daddy, her Papa, and her Daisy-Baby waiting for her was priceless - no matter how much she had loved her first day of school, it was obvious that she was happy to see them again. She chattered the whole ride home about her new friends, her teacher, her classroom, what her favorite part of the day was. It was enough to put Arthur’s mind at ease about his baby girl starting school, and it was enough to give Merlin a proud feeling in his chest. He loved school. He loved learning and he loved teaching, and all he wanted was for his girls to feel the exact same way he did. 

    After dinner, and after the girls had been bathed and put to bed, Arthur and Merlin sat up with a bottle of red wine and a box of chocolates they had managed to keep hidden from their children. Merlin had lit some candles and put on some soft music and they curled together on the sofa, taking turns sipping from their glasses and tasting wine on each other’s lips. Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was how emotionally close the duo had been all day, or maybe it was some baser need to care for one’s partner...all Merlin knew was that he was feeling uncharacteristically sensual, and he was taking advantage of it. He basked in the feeling of Arthur’s skin on his, let himself appreciate how Arthur’s lips made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He enjoyed the roaming of Arthur’s hands, even when they dipped under clothing.

    “I love you,” Arthur murmured, echoing his earlier thoughts. “I love how you love our children. How you’ve made my children yours, even when you didn’t have to. I love how you take care of us, no matter what. I adore you, Merlin Emrys-Pendragon.” Merlin smiled and pulled Arthur into his arms.

    “I love you too, Arthur. And I love our family. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want our family, as much as I want  _ you _ .”

    “What do you plan on doing?” Arthur asked, after a moment of comfortable silence. “After Daisy’s in school, I mean.”

    “I have been thinking...I might like to go back to uni.”

    “Get your Masters?”

    “Yeah. I’d like to study school counseling. Work with kids who are struggling.”

    “I think you’d be excellent at that.”

    “You think?”

    “I know. You have such a big heart, Merlin, and you’re so good with kids. I think that was one of the first things that attracted me to you in the beginning. There’s nothing like seeing a handsome man dote on your children.”

    “Mmm,” Merlin allowed his kisses along Arthur’s neck to turn into gentle nibbles. Arthur gasped when he reached a tender earlobe. “You know, I’ve also been thinking…”

    “Yes?” Arthur’s breathless reply sent a shiver down Merlin’s spine. 

    “A baby with your eyes.”

    “And your dimples?” 

    “But definitely your ears.”

    “Is that really what you want?”

    “Yes, I hate my ears,” Merlin said emphatically.

    “No, a baby.” Merlin sat back and studied Arthur’s face. He found nothing but sincere curiosity.

    “Yeah, I really do. I want your baby, Arthur.”

    “I will admit that I’ve been missing the baby stage,” Arthur glanced toward the stairs, no doubt remembering Ella and Daisy as infants. He got a sort of far-away look in his eye. “A baby. A baby boy, maybe? Though I think it should be your baby, we’ve already got enough Pendragon blood in this family.”

    “My mother would love that.”

    “We can start looking into it. Decide whether we’d like to adopt or find a surrogate.” 

    “That sounds lovely.”

    Merlin drifted to sleep that night in the warmth of Arthur's arms. He dreamt of a baby boy with his hair and Arthur’s eyes and a sprinkle of freckles across his nose. He was loved, and he was perfect.


End file.
